


World Chatroom

by Luna96



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Actual Crack, Crack, Gen, Italy being a sassy son of a bitch at times, Literally all of them show up at some point it another, Literally makes no sense, Out of Character, Randomness, Sometimes they're drunk, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-14 02:56:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luna96/pseuds/Luna96
Summary: What if America made a chatroom and invited all of his nation friends to it? Watch as almost everyone is very OOC because this is the internet, Japan is worshipped and ships everything, for once Canada isn't forgotten, and everyone has a good time!Just kidding, they're still yelling at eachother. Especially England and America. Enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya guys! So, this is just a side project I'm doing when I get bored of writing Arcana high. This won't really have much of a schedule to it, more of just posting when I feel like it. Everyone here is very OOC, because the power of the internet. If that bothers you, don't read it. Don't give me trouble. I know they're all pretty OOC. (Especially Japan and Canada. And Finland)
> 
> If you're okay with that, enjoy!
> 
> *ALSO MAJOR SWEARING WARNING ON LITERALLY EVERY CHAPTER!*

/America has added England, Canada, France, Russia, Japan, China, Germany, and N. Italy to the chatroom "World Chatroom"/

 

England: Tf America?  
England: what's this?

America: a chatroom.

England: why?

America: Bc why not?

Canada: i wAS SLEEPING! 

America: Lmao 

Canada: I WILL SIC KUMAJIRO ON YOU. 

France: r.i.p Amérique. 

Russia: it's 3 in the morning tf do you want America?

/Germany has left the chat./

N.Italy: America can you add Germany back plz

 

/America has added Germany to the chatroom "World Chatroom"/

/America has made N.Italy a administrator./

 

Germany: why. 

 

N.Italy: if I'm here, you're here. Ty America.   
N.Italy: wait, we're missing some1.

 

/N.Italy has added Tomatoboi and buonotomato to the chatroom "World Chatroom"/

 

France: why do they get nicknames? 

 

Buonotomato: Feli why 

 

/America has changed his name to Hero!/

 

Hero!: You can change it in settings I guess.  
Hero!: Also...

/Hero! Has made Canada a administrator./  
/Canada has changed his name to mapleboi/

Mapleboi: Ty Tomatoboi for the idea lol 

 

Tomatoboi: np. 

 

England: why does he get admin and I don't?

 

Hero!: Bc he's my brother. 

Russia: what should my nickname be?

Mapleboi: idk figure it out maybe something you do or say often?  
Mapleboi: I think we're missing someone btw.

/N.Italy has changed his name to pasta/  
/Mapleboi has made France a administrator/  
/Mapleboi has added THEAWESOME to the chat/

THEAWESOME: Tf Mattie I'm literally upstairs if you wanted to talk just shout?

Hero!: Wtf Matt I thought you were just sleeping?

THEAWESOME: oh SHIT.

Japan: nani the fuck?

Mapleboi: THE SILENT ONE HAS SPOKENNNN!

Hero!: THE SILENT ONE?

THEAWESOME: LOOK GUYS THE SILENT ONE!

Pasta: *insert angelic choir here*

/Japan has changed his name to Thesilentone./

Thesilentone: I accept this title.   
Thesilentone: btw I ship it.

Hero!: Back to the topic at hand, Gilbert, what do mean you're literally upstairs?

France: honhonhon

Hero!: France do you know something I don't?

France: *honhonhon intensifies*

Mapleboi: PAPA NON S'IL VOUS PLAÎT

France: Papa oui.

Mapleboi: PAPA NON IL N'A PAS BESOIN DE SAVOIR À CE SUJET!

France: *HONHONHON INTENSIFIES*

 

Hero!: I just google translated that WHAT ARE YOU THREE HIDING?

//Tomatoboi grabs the popcorn!//

Pasta: what's that?

Tomatoboi: chat commands!

//Pasta grabs the popcorn!//

//Buonotomato grabs the popcorn!//

//Thesilentone gets a camera.//

China: what the fuck I woke up and my phone almost exploded what did you DO?

/Chatroom shut down due to update./


	2. Hey look the Nordics.

/Chat has been updated to version 2.52!/

/New features:/  
/Spaces in names!/   
/Image/video/sound uploads!/  
/More chat commands!/   
/More admin commands!/

/Hero! Has changed England's name to Eyebrows./

Eyebrows: fuck you.

Hero!: Oh hey Mattie the admin commands work

Mapleboi: cool

/Mapleboi has made THEAWESOME a administrator/

Hero!: Mattie y?

//Mapleboi blows a kiss to THEAWESOME//  
//THEAWESOME blows a kiss to Mapleboi//

Hero!: I knew it... Gil you dick why didn't you tell me?

Hero!: Anyways. Why is there still people that don't have a nickname here? (Looking at you China, Russia, France.)

/Russia has changed his name to vodka!./

/France has changed his name to idkyetlol./

/China has changed his name to meneither/

Hero!: Okay, I'll accept Russia's, but you two can't just do that?

/Mapleboi has changed idkyetlol's name to baguette/

Mapleboi: fixed it.

Baguette: ok.

Pasta~!: Germany you too

Germany: no.

/THEAWESOME has changed Germany's name to potato./

Potato: why.

/Hero! Has made Thesilentone a administrator/

Mapleboi: ?

Hero!: Kiku's cool so he gets admin.

THEAWESOME: Welcome to the club, Kiku. While on the topic of admins doing things...

/THEAWESOME has added Matthias-cooler-than-you to the chat./

Matthias-cooler-than-you: oh? Is this the group chat you were talking about?  
Matthias-cooler-than-you: gil get the other Nordics in here.

THEAWESOME: Ok sure 

/THEAWESOME has added Mm., Ihavevolcanoes, doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC?, And heavymetalisthebest to the chatroom "World Chatroom"/

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: help Denmark changed my name

Hero!: I can immediately tell who everyone is just by the nicknames besides heavymetalisthebest.

Mm.: M'wife. 

Ihavevolcanoes: it's Finland. 

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: Finland. 

Matthias-cooler-than-you: that's Finland

Hero!: Are you sure? Finland seems too friendly to like metal?

Heavymetalisthebest: yep, I'm Finland! :p

Hero!: I'm not sure how to respond.

Mm.: My wife is secretly badass.

Heavymetalisthebest: I am not your wife I am A MAN.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: You sure?

Heavymetalisthebest: brb getting a sniper

baguette: rip

Mm.: Rip.

Eyebrows: Rest in Peace Denmark.

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: will not be missed (also help please how do I change this)

Mapleboi: rip

Hero!: Rip.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: HOLYFUCKINGSHIT A NERF BULLET JUST FLEW RIGHT BY MY HEAD WTF TINO THAT YOU?

/Matthias-cooler-than-you has disconnected/

Heavymetalisthebest: lmao he freaked out.

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: should've used a real one.

/Matthias-cooler-than-you has reconnected./

Matthias-cooler-than-you: Norge why? Why do you hate me? 

Thesilentone: I ship it.

Mapleboi: THE SILENT ONE! HE HAS SPOKEN ONCE AGAIN!

Hero!: ALL HAIL THE SILENT ONE!

//pasta~! Bows before Thesilentone//

Thesilentone: lmao yes bow before your god.

Meneither: why does he get worship and I don't aru?

Mapleboi: Bc he's cool.

Meneither: I CAN BE COOL!

Hero!: Prove it.

Meneither: I have the best food. My food is cool enough.

Hero!: Well, can't argue with that.

Mapleboi: he's kinda right.

Pasta~!: All around, maybe. My favorite is still pasta.

THEAWESOME: China's food is almost as awesome as I am. But not quite.

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: someone please how do I change my name?

Mapleboi: welcome to my world, Norway.


	3. In which everyone is a traitor.

/Iamacountry! Has logged on./

Hero!: O who's that?

Eyebrows: HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!

Iamacountry!: Mom and dad gave me the link!

Heavymetalisthebest: I am not your mother. I am a boy...

Iamacountry: but then what's dad?

Heavymetalisthebest: your other father.

Iamacountry: that's confusing. I think I'll stick to calling you mom.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I really want to comment, but last time I did I got a nerf bullet to the eye and it hurt.

//Heavymetalisthebest glares at Matthias-cooler-than-you.//

Matthias-cooler-than-you: *is visibly nervous*

Hero!: ANYYYYWAYYSSSSS.

Pasta~!: Germany come over I'm lonely bc Romano ran off to Spain.

Buonotomato: FELI SHUT

Potato: Feli I'm working

Hero!: Lmao Romano 

Buonotomato: stfu hamburger bastard.

doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC: I STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT HOW TO CHANGE THIS.

Mapleboi: Norway just go to settings lol

/doYOUBELIVEINMAGIC has changed his name to Norway/

Matthias-cooler-than-you: wow Norge so fucking boring.

Heavymetalisthebest: MATTHIAS YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT PETER IS HERE STFU DO NOT SWEAR IN FRONT OF MY CHILD.

Mm.: Matthias do not swear when Peter is here.

Iamacountry!: You've sworn enough in Finnish and Swedish respectively that I know pretty much every swear in the book lol

Heavymetalisthebest: how? You don't speak either you speak English?!

Iamacountry!: Google translate!

//Iamacountry! High fives Hero!//

Heavymetalisthebest: omfg  
Heavymetalisthebest: I give up.

/Heavymetalisthebest has disconnected./

 

Hero!: OKAY GUY LETS CHANGE TOPICS.

 

Eyebrows: good idea, for once in your life.

Hero!: HEY PLENTY OF MY IDEAS ARE GOOD ONES!

Mapleboi: hey.  
Mapleboi: hey al.  
Mapleboi: look at what I can do.

Hero!: What can you do?

/Hero! Is no longer a administrator./

Hero!: biTCH

THEAWESOME: lol Mattie

Hero!: Kiku make me administrator again plz

/THEAWESOME is no longer a administrator/  
/Mapleboi is no longer a administrator/

Mapleboi: you traitor I gave you pancakes

THEAWESOME: WHAT NO I AM TO AWESOME TO BE DE-OPPED!

Hero!: Can I have my admin back now plz Kiku

Thesilentone: no.  
Thesilentone: my chatroom now.  
Thesilentone: muahahahaha

Eyebrows: kiku you act so different online.

Thesilentone: so does everyone else. Except Germany. And Romano. And Italy.

Pasta: speaking of me, guess what, Japan!

Thesilentone: what?

 

/Thesilentone is no longer a administrator/

Thesilentone: NANI?

Pasta: I am the lord of this chatroom now.  
Pasta: muahahahaha  
Pasta: peasants

Potato: I am fine with this.

Buonotomato: feli can I have op?

Hero!: YOU TRAITOR I AM THE ONE THAT OPPED YOU!

Mapleboi: but I gave both both of you pancakes...

Pasta: and I gave everyone pasta last world meeting.

/Pasta has made Potato a moderator./  
/Pasta has made Buonotomato a moderator./

/Heavymetalisthebest has reconnected/

Heavymetalisthebest: what happened here?

Potato: Ty Feli

Buonotomato: grazie.

Heavymetalisthebest: what happened to America, Japan Canada and Prussia being mod?

Mapleboi: We were admin.

Hero!: BUT THEN THE KIKU NATION ATTACKED!

Mapleboi: not where I was going but ok.

Hero!: Anyways, after Kiku took over Feli was all like MOVE OVER BITCH and de-opped him.  
Hero!: So now he's admin and Germany and Romano are mods.

Thesilentone: just gonna say that was kinda hilarious.

Hero!: Just gonna say, what happens on here stays on here. 

Mapleboi: yep.

Eyebrows: sounds logical.

Mapleboi: btw where's France?

/Pasta is no longer a administrator/  
/Potato is no longer a moderator/  
/Buonotomato is no longer a moderator/

Baguette: suprise, bitches.

/Chatroom shut down due to updates./


	4. Songs

/Chat has been updated to version 2.53!/

/New features:/  
/Several bug fixes./

—SOME PREVIOUS CHANGES MAY HAVE BEEN REVERTED! PLEASE CHECK ADMINISTRATOR AND MODERATOR LIST—

Mapleboi: nani

Hero!: //Adminlist

//ADMINISTRATOR LIST//  
//Pasta//  
//Baguette//  
//Mapleboi//  
//THEAWESOME//  
//Hero!//  
//Thesilentone//

 

Mapleboi: truce?

Pasta: truce

Hero!: Truce

Baguette: truce.

THEAWESOME: awesome truce.

Mapleboi: ...Japan?

Thesilentone: ...fine.

/Matthias-cooler-than-you uploaded Alwayswithyou.mp3/

Potato: ?

Norway: Matthias no stop

Heavymetalisthebest: Yay! 

Mm.: Gotta admit, that was fun.

Ihavevolcanoes: it kinda was, but why are we sharing it with everyone?

Hero!: Omg you guys sound greattttttt

Pasta: wow

Eyebrows: Norway wow that high note

Hero!: while we're on the subject

/Hero! uploaded Unitednationsstar.mp3/

Meneither: omfg America you and England argued all through that song

Vodka!: Oh yeah that happened

Tomatoboi: France, Prussia?

Baguette: yes

THEAWESOME: YES!

/Tomatoboi uploaded OverflowingPassion.mp3/

Mapleboi: this has turned into admiring eachother's songs.

Mapleboi: I love it.

/Pasta has uploaded MarukaiteChikyuubutimadegermanyandjapansingwithme.mp3/

Potato: Italy why

Thesilentone: ...why

/Buonotomato has uploaded delicioustomatosongwithspain.mp3/

Tomatoboi: omggg Roma I didn't know you kept it?

Buonotomato: why wouldn't I? stupid bastard.

Vodka!: I guess my sisters sung this for me? Haven't listened to it yet.

/Vodka! uploaded Carrotsandsticks.mp3/

Iamacountry: I guess Latvia walked in on them recording... He said it's kinda dark.

Vodka!: Oh?

Hero!: Ooh 

Buonotomato: prob belarus.

Vodka!: A minute into the song, yep, it's Belarus.

Buonotomato: called it.

Meneither: are solo songs allowed?

Eyebrows: this chat has turned into a song competition.

Hero!: I guess lmao

/Meneither uploaded Aiyahfourthousandyears.mp3/

/Eyebrows uploaded PubandGo!.mp3/

/THEAWESOME uploaded MienGott!.mp3/

/Thesilentone uploaded Excusemeimsorry.mp3/

/Ihavevolcanoes uploaded WithlovefromIceland.mp3/

Hero!: Imma start a poll! No voting for yourself! Upload your song now!

Mm.: Good job, Matthias.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lol no problem.

/Potato uploaded Einsamkeit.mp3/

/Pasta uploaded Letsboilhotwater!.mp3/

/Vodka! uploaded LightmyHeart.mp3/

/Baguette uploaded Fallinlovemademoiselle.mp3/

/Hero! uploaded Wdcworlddancing.mp3/

THEAWESOME: can we upload more than one?

Hero!: Sure lol

/THEAWESOME uploaded Mysongwrittenbymeforme.mp3/

/Baguette uploaded Parisisindeedsplended.mp3/

/Baguette uploaded bonbonboncestboncestbon!.mp3/

/Baguette uploaded AhWorldwideàlamode.mp3/

Eyebrows: okay frog calm the fuck down

Baguette: lol

THEAWESOME: can I enter a song for west...?

potato: GILBERT NO

potato: YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING DARE

Hero!: I... Guess?

/THEAWESOME uploaded Ichliebe.mp3/

THEAWESOME: that one's West's.

potato: oh MY GOD FUCKING SHIT PRUSSIA YOU BASTARD

THEAWESOME: lol you're just embarrassed

pasta: omg what this sounds adorable

potato: fUCK.

potato: BRB DYING REAL QUICK

/potato has disconnected./

THEAWESOME: LMFAO I CAN HEAR HIM THROWING SHIT UPSTAIRS

THEAWESOME: OH SHIT HE'S COMING DOWN HERE FUCK RIP ME IM FUCKING DEAD

/THEAWESOME has disconnected/

Buonotomato: he wasn't already dead?

Hero!: Mattie does that technically mean?

Mapleboi: ...he technically has a heartbeat?

Hero!: K but does he really?

Mapleboi: ...a weak one...

Pasta: Germany has told me that he's what keeps Prussia alive. 

Mapleboi: HA! PRUSSIA IS INDEED ALIVE!

/Potato has reconnected./

/THEAWESOME has reconnected./

Baguette: enlighten us on what happened svp

THEAWESOME: I locked myself in my room lmfao he cant get in

Potato: Gilbert beilschmidt when you come out of that room you are in so much trouble.

THEAWESOME: that's why I'm running away to Canada's

Mapleboi: oh no do not drag me into this

Potato: omfg don't run away across the fucking world

THEAWESOME: jokes on you I tricked you, already at the airport

Potato: you coward get back here

THEAWESOME: mmmm no I'm buying a ticket to a plane to Canada's place.

Pasta: omfg this SONGGGG I LOVE IT <3

potato: wait really

Pasta: yes!

THEAWESOME: Ha you're welcome little brother.

THEAWESOME: Canada I'm still coming over btw

Mapleboi: ok.

THEAWESOME: the plane leaves tomorrow but I'm still shook af so I'm just gonna chill at the airport for the night.

Potato: ...you should be

Hero!: oh sHIT WAS THAT A THREAT?

Mapleboi: omfg I'm grabbing my hockey stick I will defend Gil with my LIFE.

THEAWESOME: holy shit I'm actually hiding Mattie save me 

Mapleboi: fly to my house when you get here just come to my place GERMANY I WILL FITE YOU YOU WILL NOT HURT PRUSSIA

Buonotomato: lmao I'd like to see you try to take out potato bastard

Mapleboi: I WILL FIGHT YOU BOTH 

Hero!: Okay guys, place your bets. I bet Mattie's gonna win.

Vodka!: Same.

THEAWESOME: KICK THEIR ASSES MATTIE except don't actually kick West's ass I need him give him a gentle warning instead

Mapleboi: can I hit him on the head with a hockey stick?

THEAWESOME: yes but not too hard

Mapleboi: k.

Meneither: lol why are you guys betting on Canada? My bet's on Romano and Germany.

Mapleboi: I'LL FIGHT YOU TOO CHINA

Hero!: Oml I think he's mad

Baguette: my bet's on Canada

Matthias-cooler-than-you: Canada

Ihavevolcanoes: Canada.

Norway: Canada.

Mm.: Canada

Heavymetalisthebest: canada.

Thesilentone: lol Nordics why?

Heavymetalisthebest: we've played hockey with him.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: Hockey Canada is scary Canada.

Heavymetalisthebest: he will destroy them

Mapleboi: lmfao guys it was a joke

Potato: please Prussia come back

THEAWESOME: no

Vodka!: Aw but now I wanna see Canada kill Romano and Germany! ^J^

Hero!: You just wanna see someone die, Russia.

Vodka!: Honestly tho China don't fuck with Canada you'll get hurt

Potato: gilbert please

THEAWESOME: nein.

Potato: but I'm lonely now

THEAWESOME: I don't care

Pasta: gERMANY YOU CAN COME OVER HERE! PLEASEEE?

Potato: ...Italy are you gay?

Pasta: well lemme tell you right now you're NOT gonna get a STRAIGHT answer.

Buonotomato: FELI OMFG

Hero!: YASSS FELI

Mapleboi: omfg brb dying

Pasta: srsly Luddy are you THAT dense I've hit on you so many fucking times and you haven't noticed wTF I THOUGHT YOU KNEW

potato: i just wanted to confirm...

Pasta: WHEN I SAID MY FIRST LOVE WAS A GUY IT SHOULDVE BEEN CONFIRMED GERMANY!

potato: im sorry 

Mapleboi: hey that's my line

Pasta: apology accepted now come over plz

potato: kk I'm coming

/Potato has disconnected/

Pasta: Mission accomplished.


	5. UNO, The thing,

/Matthias-cooler-than-you has uploaded Norwaydoingthething.wmv/

Norway: fuck you.  
Norway: bastard  
Norway: you're an idiot  
Norway: omfg  
Norway: Denmark  
Norway: I hate you.

Eyebrows: Norway calm down please 

Mapleboi: do YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA WHAT FUCKING TIME IT IS OVER HERE LIKE OH MY FUCKING GOD IM TRYING TO HAVE A NICE NIGHT IM CURLED UP.WITH PRUSSIA AND SLEEPING HAPPILY BUT THEN MY PHONE FUCKING EXPLODES FUCK YOU

Mapleboi: FUCK YOU!

Hero!: Guys it's 4 o'clock go back to sleep

Matthias-cooler-than-you: not over here it's not

Mapleboi: WHAT THE FUCK IS SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAVE TO WAKE ME AND PRUSSIA UP AT ASSCRACK O' CLOCK IN THE GODDAMN MORNING?

Hero!: Canada is not a morning person

_-_-_-_-_-_- Contents of the video -_-_-_-_-_-_

Denmark held the camera up in front of him, facing himself.

"Okay guys, I'm going to make Norway do the thing. He doesn't know I have the camera, and I've got money to bribe him with." He whispered. He strapped the camera onto his shirt. It was obviously very small.

He then walked into the next room over, where Norway was just about finished his morning coffee.

"Yo Nor!" Denmark shouted. He placed a wine glass down in front of Norway, "Do the thing!" 

"No." Norway replied simply.

"I have money~!" Denmark bribed.

Norway seemed to weigh his options for a moment, before accepting, "Fine, give me the glass."

Denmark placed the glass down in front of Norway, and Norway cleared his voice, before he sung a extremely high note. It took a moment, before the glass shattered.

"Okay, give me my money." Norway mumbled.

"Sure!" Denmark told him, before handing him some money and leaving the room.

Denmark took the camera off of his shirt, held it in front of his face and laughed.

"Oh my god he actually did it!" He exclaimed quietly, "Norway, when this goes up on the group chat, please don't kill me!" He whisper-yelled, before turning off the recording.

_-_-_-_-_- Back in the chatroom -_-_-_-_-_

Norway: BITCH!

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lol guys I'm prob dead tell Fin he gets all of my beer

Mm.: No he doesn't we don't need to deal with drunk Fin ever again. Remember last time?

Ihavevolcanoes: please don't give Fin beer.

Norway: if that's what will happen then I might not kill you.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: HA! IMMUNITY, BITCH!

Heavymetalisthebest: uno reverse I'll give all the beer to Canada and Prussia.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: FINLAND NO PLEASE

THEAWESOME: UM!? I don't think so.  
THEAWESOME: REVERSE AND SKIP YOUR TURN IM GIVING THE BEER BACK TO FINLAND.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: TY PRUSSIA

Mapleboi: can we only give him half?

THEAWESOME: Mattie you're literally in the room next to me.

Mapleboi: idc

THEAWESOME: also no we must protecc my awesome friend

Mapleboi: k fine.

Eyebrows: why are we using cards in uno to communicate?

Mapleboi: now I want to know what happened last time Finland got drunk?

Mm.: I had to stop him from killing a guy.

Mapleboi: wait quoi? 

Thesilentone: lmao nani?

Hero!: I HOLD ALL THE POWER!

/Hero! has uploaded Boxofunocards.jpeg/

Mapleboi: no I

/Mapleboi has uploaded Myboxofunocards.jpeg/

Heavymetalisthebest: no I

/Heavymetalisthebest has uploaded DOUBLEUNOBOXESBITCHES.jpeg/

Hero!: No we have been defeated

THEAWESOME: UMMM NO?! I ALSO HAVE A BOX OF UNO AND IM GIVING IT TO MATTIE   
THEAWESOME: MATTIE COME HERE

Mapleboi: yes

Hero!: Me too I can't give them to you bc I'm in Washington but just pretend I gave them to you

Mapleboi: LMAO BEAT THIS

/Mapleboi has uploaded Twoboxesofunoandoneimagiaryone.jpeg/

Heavymetalisthebest: FUCK!

Eyebrows: WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE BOXES OF UNO LYING AROUND WTF

/Heavymetalisthebest has uploaded FOURBOXESBEATTHIS.jpeg/

Hero!: NO HE FOUND ANOTHER BOX

 

Matthias-cooler-than-you: why are you fighting me I just want to share my beer?!

Heavymetalisthebest: I don't wanna get arrested again.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: okay fair

Hero!: wtf what goes on over there? Europe are you okay? Do you need help?

Buonotomato: no we're all slowly dying

/Mapleboi has uploaded BUTCANYOUDOTHIS.jpeg/

Buonotomato: WHAT THE FUCK HOW DID YOU MAKE THE SNOW DO THAT?!?

Hero!: Okay now I'm just confused

Eyebrows: Canada is there something you aren't telling us?

Thesilentone: was not expecting that.

Pasta: I call Photoshop.

Potato: idk that looks kinda legit to me.

Mapleboi: Magic!

THEAWESOME: He does that a lot. 

Vodka!: Not magic, I can do that too.

/Vodka! uploaded Nahthatshavinglandinthenorth.jpeg/

Mapleboi: Russia please lemme have my fun

Ihavevolcanoes: yep can confirm

/Ihavevolcanoes uploaded Notmagicjustalwayscold.jpeg/

Mapleboi: ICELAND YOU BITCH

Vodka!: We represent the LAND and the people. If it's really cold, you are kinda able to do that. Greenland can prob do that too, maybe Siberia and Alaska, definitely N.W territories Yukon and Nunavut.

Ihavevolcanoes: its also how I can bathe in lava and it have no effects on me except making me warm.

Vodka!: You guys probably have something like that too, but just figure it's normal.

Mapleboi: nooo why I had something going for me

Vodka!: Lmao suffer bitch.

Heavymetalisthebest: lol it's our little exclusive club  
Heavymetalisthebest: the other Nordics are in it too.

Hero!: wait  
Hero!: I HAVE ALASKA WHY CANT I DO THAT?!

Vodka!: We all have areas attached to our mainland either in (or extremely close to, in Iceland's case) the artic circle. Alaska is not mainland U.S.

Hero!: Unfair

Heavymetalisthebest: and for the record, I can do that 

/Heavymetalisthebest has uploaded bitch.jpeg/

//Eyebrows is confused.//

//Baguette Is also confused.//

//Hero! pokes Eyebrows.//

Mapleboi: btw Prus I cooked pancakes come downstairs

THEAWESOME: but I'm naked

Mapleboi: idc do you want pancakes or not

THEAWESOME: yes

Mapleboi: then throw on some boxers or something idgaf you know this

THEAWESOME: I love this man.

Mapleboi: love you too, mon cœur.

Thesilentone: I ship it.


	6. Micronations, drunk Finland, Word of the day.

/Sealand! has logged on./

Seborga~: welcome back did you have a nice adventure?

Sealand: Their group chat is amazing holy crap.

Wy: Wdym?

Sealand: You need to see it to believe it oml

Ladonia: really? Let us join it!

Sealand: I can't I don't have the perms

Ladonia: I could get you that?

Wy: what about your parents?

Sealand: they aren't opped either...  
Sealand: ...But Italy is...

Seborga~: Oh?

Sealand: Seb can you get Italy to add us?

Wy: but what about England?

Sealand: he's not opped. The only people opped are Italy, France, Canada, Prussia, America and Japan.  
Sealand: America and France like us, Canada had no issues with us, Italy is Seb's brother, Japan and Prussia really don't care. We should be good.

Wy: well then, Seb, go get us in!

Ladonia: wait dont forget me!

Seborga~: K I'm gonna go talk to Italy wish me luck.

_-_-_-_-_-_-

/Pasta has added Wytho, ThethirdItaly and Ladonia to the chat./

ThethirdItaly: :) Ty Feli

Pasta: np

Mm.: Oh hi Ladonia

Heavymetalisthebest: BOTH OF MY BOYS ARE HERE NOW  
Heavymetalisthebest: waIT WE'RE MISSING HANATAMAGO  
Heavymetalisthebest: WE NEED HANA TO BE HERE

Iamacountry: Mama, Hana can't type.

Wytho: Is Australia in here?

Iamacountry: no, sorry Wy.

Wytho: aww

Heavymetalisthebest: HANA CAN TYPE IF SHE WANTS TO  
Heavymetalisthebest: WHO ARE YOU TO TELL HANA WHAT SHE CAN AND CANNOT DO?!

Mm.: Fin, are you drunk?

Heavymetalisthebest: no

Mm.: You sure

Heavymetalisthebest: no

Mm.: Omg who gave Fin alcohol?

/Matthias-cooler-than-you raises his hand/

Matthias-cooler-than-you: don't worry tho I'm watching him he said he's gonna terrorize the chat and not kill someone this time.

Mm.: Never trust drunk Finland.

Heavymetalisthebest: IM GOING TO STRAP A PAPER HORN TO HANA'S HEAD  
Heavymetalisthebest: SHE CAN BE A UNICORN FOR CHRISTMAS

Eyebrows: but it's February?

Heavymetalisthebest: IDGAF I WISH IT WAS ALWAYS CHRISTMAS

/Thesilentone has flashbacks./

Eyebrows: OH GOD PLEASE NO

Pasta: FUCKFUCKFUCK SMASH ALL THE MIRRORS

Mapleboi: FINLAND NO!

Potato: NOPENOPENOPE SSOOOO MUCH NOPE.

Meneither: OHHH MY FUCKING GOD NOPE NO NO! NO NO WHY DID YOU BRING THST UP

/Austria has logged on/

Hero!: Omfg please no not again

Wytho: WHY IS EVERYONE PANICKING?!

Iamacountry: I KNOW EXACTLY WHY AND AM PANICING MYSELF DAD PROTECT ME

Mm.: It's okay I hid all the mirrors

Buonotomato: nnOOOOPPPPPEEE WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN.

Austria: I think I arrived at a bad time?  
Austria: Just scrolled up, realized what happened. Please calm down.

Heavymetalisthebest: I JUST REALIZED WHAT I SAID MY BAD, DO NOT PANIC IM FINE!

Eyebrows: okay all clear 

Pasta: Okay we're all good.

Mapleboi: EVERYTHING IS OKAY. THAT'S THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK.

THEAWESOME: MATTIE STOP HAVING HEART ATTACKS

Mapleboi: IM SORRY

THEAWESOME: okay

Mapleboi: k I'll try

Mm.: Finland, did Denmark let you get drunk

Heavymetalisthebest: no I stole his beer

Matthias-cooler-than-you: BITCH!

THEAWESOME: oh no prissy-pants you joined at the best time possible.  
THEAWESOME: *Sarcasm*

Mapleboi: Lol gil be nice

THEAWESOME: no

Austria: bitch.

THEAWESOME: uno reverso

Austria: no u

Mapleboi: no both of you

THEAWESOME: Mattie I'm hurt :'(

Austria: bitch.

Mapleboi: lmao

Heavymetalisthebest: k I'm bored I'm going out cya den

Matthias-cooler-than-you: WHAT NO WTF WHERE ARE YOU

Heavymetalisthebest: two blocks away

Mm.: I THOUGHT YOU WERE KEEPING AN EYE ON HIM

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I WAS HE WAS IN THE BASEMENT?!

Mm.: WELL HE'S NOT NOW!

Matthias-cooler-than-you: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT THAT?!

Mm.: GO CATCH HIM BEFORE HE GETS IN TROUBLE? DOES HE HAVE ONE OF HIS GUNS? 

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I think?

Heavymetalisthebest: yep~!

Mm.: WHY DID YOU LET HIM HAVE ONE OF HIS GUNS?

Mapleboi: Finland has more than one gun?

Norway: do you need my help? I think you need my help.

Ihavevolcanoes: I would help, but I'm at HK's place

Meneither: WHY ARE YOU AT HONG KONG'S ARU?

Ihavevolcanoes: shit forgot he's here.

Meneither: AIYAH NORWAY MAKE YOUR BROTHER ANSWER ME

/Ihavevolcanoes has disconnected/

Meneither: BITCH!

Hero!: Word of the day: Bitch!  
Hero!: EVERYONE SAY IT WITH ME!  
Hero!: BITCH! 

Mapleboi: bitch

Baguette: bitch.

Heavymetalisthebest: BIIITTTTCCCCHHHH?

Austria: bitch

THEAWESOME: the person above is a bitch.

Wytho: bitch?

/Matthias-cooler-than-you uploaded Uhoh.jpeg/

Mm.: WHT TH FUCK WHY IS FIN ON THE TABLE WITH A GUN STOP HIM!

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I can't lmfao

Mm.: HE'S GOING TO GET ARRESTED!

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lol too late police just arrived.

/Mm. has disconnected/

Matthias-cooler-than-you: well, I'm dead.

/Matthias-cooler-than-you has disconnected./

Hero!: Well. That happened.

Eyebrows: It certainly did.

Mapleboi: guys.  
Mapleboi: I HAVE THE BEST IDEA.

Eyebrows: what?

Baguette: quoi?

THEAWESOME: really? Was?

Mapleboi: we  
Mapleboi: should   
Mapleboi: play  
Mapleboi: UNO.

_-_-_-_-_-_-

/Sweden has logged on./

Denmark~!: Oh hey sve how's Fin?

Sweden: hung over. Throwing up. Upset. Ladonia and Sealand are upset too.

Ice: oof

Norgay: big oof.  
Norgay: wAIT DENMARK DID YOU CHANGE MY NAME AGAIN?!

Denmark~!: Lmfao

Norgay: If anyone here is gay it's ice.

Ice: HEY!

Sweden: no i

Norgay: true now how do I change this back

/Denmark~! has changed Norgay's name to Magic./

Magic.: Okay fine it's better than Norgay.

Sweden: okay I'll brb gotta take care of fin.  
Sweden: this is your fault, Matthias

/Sweden has disconnected./


	7. UNO, Switzerland and Liechtenstein, Meme Team, Overwatch

Hero!: oh my FUCKING GOD MATTIE YOU BITCH!

Mapleboi: lmfao u mad?

Eyebrows: he is clearly mad you keep skipping his turn!

Baguette: HA BITCHES I WIN AGAIN

Hero!: OH MY GOD THIS IS YOUR FAULT MATTIE I HAD A SKIP TURN I COULDVE STOPPED HIM

Mapleboi: lol that just makes it even funnier

Baguette: lmfao that's my boy

Eyebrows: so how are the other games going? Better than ours I assume?

Potato: nope. Feli and I WERE teamed up, but he teamed up with Gilbert so they could destroy us...

Pasta: lol sorry!

THEAWESOME: awww west is there a problem?

Buonotomato: YES THERE IS A PROBLEM YOU BASTARDS!

Eyebrows: and the Nordics?

Ihavevolcanoes: I'm winning. A lot. The others have no clue how to play.

Mm.: Fin knows how to play, but he's sick because of Denmark.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: IT ISNT MY FAULT HE STOLE THE BEER!

Mm.: Yes, it is. Should've kept a better eye on him.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: ...

Eyebrows: how about we don't tell vash what happened here so he doesn't ban uno?

Baguette: vash is said the same way as vache. 

Mapleboi: LMFAO PAPA NON

Baguette: vache means cow.

Hero!: Lol someone get switzy in here

/Baguette has added Switzerland to the chatroom World Chatroom./

Switzerland: ...? What am I doing here?

/Baguette has changed Switzerland's name to Vache./

Vache: wtf I feel insulted I am not a cow that is not how you spell my name change it back.

Mapleboi: lol allô Suisse comment ça va?

Vache: pas bien. Qui est tu?

Mapleboi : JE SUIS CANADA! MON DIEU!

Baguette : lol Suisse tu furieux?

Vache : oui.

Hero!: Does anyone have any clue what they're saying?

Vache: Canada ton frère est stupide.

Mapleboi: oui je connais.

Eyebrows: oui, Amérique est très stupide.

Baguette : Angleterre tu parles français??? 

Eyebrows: Non...

Baguette: je ne savais pas

Mapleboi: une fois quand il a saoul il a chanté dans français 

Eyebrows: OI FERME TON BOUCHE

Baguette: attendre vraiment?

Hero!: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS SAYING?

Eyebrows: OMFG AMERICA WE'RE TALKING PLEASE DON'T INTERUPT!

Hero!: But I'm curious?!

Baguette: AMERICA OH MY GOD PLEASE

Vache: we are SPEAKING.

Mapleboi: if you want to know so bad Google translate it!

Hero!: K

Baguette: CANADA NON

Mapleboi: oops? 

Hero!: HEY I AM NOT A IDIOT!!!

Baguette: this is your fault, Canada.

Mapleboi: ...

Vache: it's true, though.

/Lichtenstein has logged on./

Lichtenstein: what's this?

Vache: Lili you aren't supposed to be here please leave.

Lichtenstein: but why?  
Lichtenstein: and why is your name cow...?

Vache: Lili...

Lichtenstein: just scrolled up lmfao

Vache: LILI ZWINGLI!

Lichtenstein: what I just said laughing my fricking ass off!  
Lichtenstein: wait no crap

Vache: LILI!

/Lichtenstein has changed her name to Lili./

Lili: it's no use big brother I'm already part of the meme team

Vache: ...Meme team?

Hero!: //Groupmembers THEAMAZINGMEMETEAM

//Members of group chat: THE AMAZING MEME TEAM!://

//Matthew Williams//  
//Alfred F. Jones//  
//Gilbert Beilschmidt//  
//Feliciano Vargas//  
//Emma Peeters//  
//Kiku Honda//  
//Matthias Køhler//  
//Lili Zwingli//  
//Ali Smith//

 

Vache: What? I am very confused.

Baguette: who's Ali?

Wytho?: Me. My human name.

Hero!: Ahem.

/Hero! has uploaded Memeteamscreencap1.jpeg/

Lili: lol I remember that

Mapleboi: noooooo

_-_-_ image contents -_-_-

GROUP: THE AMAZING MEME TEAM!

Lili: lol just rekd some bitches on the PS4

Memeboi: WAIT AND I WASNT INVITED?  
Memeboi: WHAT THE FUCK LILI?

Wytho?: Lili's lying, she pocket Mercy'd me and I carried as Ashe.

Lili: UMMM WHAT EXPLAIN MY BATTLE MERCY TEAMKILL?

Wytho?: I killed the widow. If I hadn't killed her, you wouldn't have gotten it.

Hero!: wait Wy your PSN is Wytho right?

Wytho?: Ye Wy?

Hero!: BITCH I WAS THAT WIDOW!

Wytho?: ...Wy are you on European servers?

THEAWESOME: Sry that's my bad

THEAWESOME: also Wy why are you using your name as a replacement for "Why"?

Wytho: Wy not?

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lmao England would butcher you

Memeboi: WHY HAS NO-ONE ANSWERED MY QUESTION?!

Hero!: Lmfao Mattie get on Euro servers we should all group

Memeboi: kk I'm getting on

_-_-_- Back to the chatroom -_-_-_

 

Wytho: we proceeded to kick ass in comp Overwatch.

Ihavevolcanoes: Woah you guys play OW? Who do you all main?!

Mapleboi: Sombra/Mei

Hero!: Reinhardt

Lili: Mercy/Widow

THEAWESOME: D.va/Reinhardt.

Wytho: Ashe/Brig

Lili: you?

Ihavevolcanoes: Pharah/Genji

Hero!: We should play some time!

Vache: are we just gOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT LILI IS IN A GROUP WITH THOSE RUFFIANS  
Vache: AND IS SWEARING?

Lili: yes please

Vache: I fucking give up.

/Vache has disconnected./

Lili: lmfao

Mapleboi: ice what's your PSN

Ihavevolcanoes: same as on here

Mapleboi: k accept my request everyone get on and get in NA I'll host

Lili: k

Wytho: just lemme go steal the PS4 from Australia lol

Hero!: Kk hurry up

Mapleboi: Sry Papa, England, we're leaving

Eyebrows: wait what?

Baguette: nonnnnnn pourquoi?

Ihavevolcanoes: k guys bye gtg now cya

Norway: wait no

Mapleboi: k sent ice

Ihavevolcanoes: Ty

THEAWESOME: OMFG GUYS I JUST OPENED A LOOTBOX AND GOT LAST YEARS D.VA SKIN AND THE NEW REIN SKIN I AM SO HAPPY RN HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Ihavevolcanoes: Gz

Mapleboi: Gratz

Wytho: nicccceee

Lili: congratulations!

Potato: I can hear him yelling from his basement make him shut up bitte

Mapleboi: I'll try.  
Mapleboi: je t'aime, la Prusse

Potato: you just made him yell even louder wTF

Mapleboi: lol that was actually the point

Potato: why do I even try?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *DISCLAIMER*  
> I clearly don't own Overwatch. If I did, there would be a Canadian map AND hero by now. Please don't sue me Blizzard I love you and your game I'm literally a broke 14 Year old.  
> *END DISCLAIMER*
> 
> Most of the French translations here are by me, but some of the words and phrases are google translated. Sorry if it's inaccurate.
> 
> Btw I headcanoned Wy and Belgium's names BC they don't have a canon name.


	8. Amazing meme team, Prussia gets oofed.

In the AMAZING MEME TEAM chat...

Thesilentone: okay  
Thesilentone: so I'm on Overwatch rn right?

Belgianwaffle: Yeah...?

Thesilentone: and I'm in comp and I'm in team chat rn right?

Belgianwaffle: Yeahhhhh?

 

Thesilentone: WELL THIS TWAT  
Thesilentone: IS MAKING FUN  
Thesilentone: OF MY ACCENT  
Thesilentone: AND IM PISSED

Belgianwaffle: what server ill give them hell

Thesilentone: NA east I'm playing with Ame and he's screaming at him 

Belgianwaffle: k nvm I think you're good

Thesilentone: me too.  
Thesilentone: BUT THIS BITCH IS STILL MAKIJG FUN OF MY ACCENT HDJDHHSJSGSHSN

Belgianwaffle: lol

Hero!: IMMA FUCKIN KILL A BITCH HONESTLY

Belgianwaffle: lmfao Ame calm

Hero!: STFU BEL HES MAKING FUN OF MY FRIEND

Belgianwaffle: u sure Japan's just a friend

Hero!: BEL I STG

Belgianwaffle: lol

Thesilentone: YES BEL IM JUST A FRIEND FUCK YOU

Belgianwaffle: ew no not interested

Memeboi: YAS BEL

Belgianwaffle: I learnt from the best.

Memeboi: Ty :)

THEAWESOME: lol the art of turning "Fuck you" into a insult to the person saying it

Thesilentone: you know that's not what I meant

Memeboi: Japan here you aren't the silent one here why is your name still silent one?

Thesilentone: I am still a god

Matthias-cooler-than-you: yo can ice join the meme team?

Hero!: Idk can ice meme?

Matthias-cooler-than-you: idk

Hero!: Then no  
Hero!: OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS BITCH.IS STILL MAKING FUN OF HIS ACCENT HSHRKWKDJWKSVEJKDBFK

Wytho?: Ame chill dafuq

Lili: America omfg please 

Pasta: Ame do you need some pasta

Hero!: I DO NOT NEED PASTA 

Pasta: I think he needs pasta

Hero!: Fhaceoahdojabdkanbsnksbd  
Hero!: Ufjjsbdhdhdhdhdhdhhdhj  
Hero!: Lqjsosoandkskksksosk)I+==+°-+{(

Pasta: don't get upsetti have some spaghetti

Hero!: Gshshhsgdjeudsjzh  
Hero!: Jfksjskslfbkslzbn

Pasta: fuck my happiness charm didn't work  
Pasta: k I'm out

//Pasta flies out a window.//

THEAWESOME: well it worked on Mattie he died AGAIN  
THEAWESOME: thanks ita

Pasta: aww np

Hero!: Ufhshdjsjgdjabshgdksj

Lili: UNITED STATES OF AMERICA CALM THE FUCK DOWN

Hero!: OH REALLY I CAN PLAY THAT GAME TOO PRINCIPALITY OF LIECHTENSTEIN!!

THEAWESOME: Ame plz chill

Hero!: NO  
Hero!: Hfjshgsksndh  
Hero!: And for the record I DONT WANT SPAGHETTI BITCH

Pasta: BUT PASTA

Hero!: NO

//Hero! throws Pasta's pasta out of the window!//

Pasta: NO MY PASTA YOU FUCKING FAT BASTARD HHFKSGDKAKSJ

 

Memeboi: k back  
Memeboi: would not recommend drinking water and reading Ita's chats  
Memeboi: you might drown.  
Memeboi: omg what happened

THEAWESOME: Omfg ita that might be too far

Lili: Ita no

Belgianwaffle: ITALIAN REPUBLIC YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE THAT YOU COULDVE JUST CALLED HIM BASTARD OR SHITHEAD LIKE A NORMAL PERSON BUT WHAT THE FUCK ITALY?!?

Pasta: wait no fuck

Memeboi: you're in shit now Italy

Belgianwaffle: DOMINION OF CANADA SHUT UP IM LECTURING ITALY

Memeboi: HEY DO NOT USE MY REAL NAME LIKE THAT KINGDOM OF BELGIUM HRJSJDKSGSHSJDHHDHDHDHHDH

Belgianwaffle: HEJSHDHANSKAKBDJDK

Memeboi: kdjskan hdjdjjdbdjdjjJJKEKAKS KKROWLLALLALALALLALSHEIJSFHJDGDHJSGHHGSUTSITZFJSGJTCJTSKYSTJXMTSMGZJFXKGZJGDKGZMGZNGSJGDKGHXJFZ)-"( &$6)2(5#) 41(5 214( (2 5$5?#?5 5(2&?#$-?*& (+*&*&++"& 6 57 2 626772627 46257 272667 26JZTKDTOYDS YKEYKKYS  
Memeboi: the door open and close your eyes y the two t u the two of the couch and asked me to the chatroom World Chatroom the room is available in the room was quite warm up from his neck bearing the name to Norgay was trying to find out more than one gun was a temporary Prussia just fuck me dammit PA to dr today I will defend the Constitution and bylaws and the male and female nurse began to unpack from his neck bearing on the table and chairs lining up to the door and walked in and enjoying it and put them into a room for a moment and the two of you and I don't want anything from you and I am

THEAWESOME: he just furiously slammed his hands against his phone lmfao  
THEAWESOME: Canada your too adorable and smol to take seriously  
THEAWESOME: WAIT NO FUCK HELPLZNAODVHSHSGSHGDYDHHSBAGSBNFNDHEHH

Hero!: Mattie what did you do?

Belgianwaffle: wtf just happened?

Pasta: am confused

Hero!: Mattie...?

Wytho?: I think prus is in danger

Thesilentone: prus is definitely in danger

Hero!: Canada you respond right now

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I think he's ded

Lili: why would Canada kill prus? I thought they were I'm love??

Hero!: Okay I think prus might be dead

Matthias-cooler-than-you: called it

Lili: ???was why?

Pasta: there is a lot about Canada you don't understand

Hero!: I'm calling prus's phone...

Pasta: GL my guy

Belgianwaffle: that isn't a good idea

Lili: what??? What am I missing ita tell me

Hero!: O shit  
Hero!: Prus is screaming  
Hero!: I don't think he's ok

Lili: hdshysgdhjs I'm confused and concerned

Thesilentone: press f to pay respects for our fallen friend.  
Thesilentone: F.

Hero!: F.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: F

Wytho?: F

Belgianwaffle: f

Pasta: F.

Lili: F

Pasta: Imma tell the others 

_-_-_ In the World Chatroom -_-_-

Pasta: guys press f to pay respects for Prussia

Potato: wait what

Baguette: what happened

Hero!: He pissed Mattie off

Potato: oh so he's only temporarily dead? Like not actually dead

Pasta: ye

Potato: F

Baguette: f

Buonotomato: F

Ihavevolcanoes: F

Austria: f

Tomatoboi: F

Vodka!: F

Norway: F

Eyebrows: f

Mm.: F

Heavymetalisthebest: F

Meneither: f

Iamacountry: f

ThethirdItaly: f

Ladonia: F

Vodka!: No one deserves that kind of death.

Baguette: place your bets: Hockey stick, Knife, Kumajiro, or Rifle? Minimum ten Euros. Winning team gets money divided amongst themselves and sent as native currency.

 

Hero!: 22$ hockey stick

Eyebrows: £1000 Kuma

Lili: what are we betting on? 

Hero!: How prus died 

Lili: oh 12 francs for rifle

Vodka!: 1500 ruble for Kuma

Ihavevolcanoes: 6850 króna says Hockey stick

Hero!: How much is 6850 króna that sounds like a lot

Ihavevolcanoes: about 20 Euros

Hero!: K just checking

Matthias-cooler-than-you: 110 Krone for rifle

Norway: 483 Krone rifle

Heavymetalisthebest: 20 Euros knife

Mm.: 520 krona, rifle

Baguette: ...you underestimate his cruelty  
Baguette: 5000 Euros for knife.

Eyebrows: Woah feeling confident aren't we, frog?

Baguette: he's my son I feel pretty confident.

Potato: I don't doubt it  
Potato: 100 Euros for knife.

Thesilentone: 6283 Yen for Kumajiro.

Meneither: 154 Yuan for rifle

Tomatoboi: uh 30 euros rifle

Buonotomato: 20 Euros rifle

Pasta: I'm gonna be that guy and go 420.69 euros for knife.

Hero!: Lol

Potato: really? 

Meneither: Aiyah, so immature.

Hero!: Okay I'm gonna @ him.  
Hero!: Wish me luck...

Pasta: GL don't die

Hero!: @Mapleboi  
.  
..  
...

//Thesilentone waits...//

Vodka!: he isn't responding?

Hero!: @Mapleboi you there?  
Hero!: Should I call him?

Baguette: idk do you want to die?

Pasta: yes

Baguette: I WASN'T ASKING YOU

Potato: Italy no I need you

Pasta: lol it's a joke

Hero!: I'll be fine k I'm calling him

.  
..  
...  
....  
.....

Hero!: He isn't picking up.  
Hero!: Should I go to his place

Baguette: again, do you want to die?

Buonotomato: yes.

Baguette: omg Italies chill

ThethirdItaly: yea we wanna die

Pasta: we'll go  
Pasta: that was a joke we don't actually don't make us go we're scared.

Mapleboi: k back what happened

Hero!: Is Prussia dead?

Mapleboi: ...no

Hero!: Truth?

Mapleboi: ...no

Hero!: How did he die?

Mapleboi: ...I might've stabbed him a couple of times...

Baguette: FUCKING CALLED IT

Pasta: holy fuck what actually?

Potato: told you.

Eyebrows: FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKK

Thesilentone: FUCK 6283 YEN IS 50 FUCKING EUROS

Mm.: Shit

Norway: ...fuck

Lili: only bet 12 francs club  
//Lili dances.//

Mapleboi: you guys made a bet on how I killed Prus?

Baguette: couldn't resist sorry Canada

Mapleboi: he'll wake up... Eventually?

Hero!: How many times is a couple times...?

Mapleboi: 10 times in the chest...

Potato: why.

Pasta: he's technically got nation healing he should be okay.

Potato: it's a little slower but he should heal like one of us  
Potato: maybe the speed of a micronation, a little faster for fatal wounds?

Mapleboi: ye

Potato: have you killed him before...?  
.  
..  
...

Mapleboi: ...possibly?

Hero!: Don't you think that's a bit far...?

Mapleboi: no he called me weak  
Mapleboi: I simply showed him I wasn't.  
Mapleboi: besides I have medical training he'll be okay in a few

Hero!: Omg...

Norway: you broke Denmark he's super confused

Pasta: canada is not innocent...

Hero!: LMFAO YOURE TELLING US?

Baguette: my son is insane.

Potato: ... Not gonna comment...

Heavymetalisthebest: Russia and I have played hockey with him... Can confirm he's fucking insane.

Vodka!: Yep

Mapleboi: hey you two aren't much better

Mm.: Wait wat

Heavymetalisthebest: NOTHING!

Mapleboi: wait he's up  
.  
..  
Mapleboi: he wants beer...  
Mapleboi: he's not even mad at me lmfao

THEAWESOME: WHAT DID I MISS

Potato: how?

Mapleboi: medical training! Ten years of it.

Pasta: yay meme team re-assembled!

THEAWESOME: my chest hurts.

Hero!: no shit.

Pasta: fucking detective of the year over here

Thesilentone: wow yes much smart

THEAWESOME: buttt he's making pancakes so everything is fine I love him

Mapleboi: <3

Potato: how many times has he killed you

THEAWESOME: three?  
THEAWESOME: but once we technically killed eachother so it's fine

Lili: ...why would you kill someone you love?

Baguette: lmfao try me and angleterre we've killed eachother 20 times each  
Baguette: 21 times counting the one time we got super drunk

Eyebrows: FRANCE SHUT

THEAWESOME: FUUUUCCKK JUST TRIED TO PUT SOMETHING ON MY CHEST OW PAIN

Mapleboi: are you fucking retarded I stabbed you 10 times and you tried to put a BOOK ON YOUR CHEST

Tomatoboi: yep sounds like Prussia

Baguette: mmhm.

Matthias-cooler-than-you: gotta agree, but that sounds like Me Ame and Prus soooo

Norway: yep.

Hero!: I am not like that.

Eyebrows: yes.  
Eyebrows: yes you are.


	9. PruCan, R.I.P. fourth wall, ages, HRE, Germany is very confused.

Potato: @Hero! why is my brother fucking yours in our hotel room?

Hero!: Wait what

Pasta: wow

Baguette: please explain??? I am confused???

Potato: Prussia is fucking Canada in my and prussia's hotel room???

Hero!: wTF

Eyebrows: backstory plz?

Potato: its 12 o clock and there's a meeting tomorrow I just got back to my hotel room form a date with Feli and I walk in to the bedroom to go to sleep and PRUSSIA AND CANADA ARE FUCKING AND NOW I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH???

Hero!: Yeah that kinda sounds like something they'd do

Potato: this is very uncomfortable Feli can I come over

Pasta: I know how you feel lol go ahead door's unlocked.

Hero!: Idk id probably say they're fucking bc they've been dating for like five years but idk

Thesilentone: I ship it

Eyebrows: you ship everything

Thesilentone: yep pretty much.

Pasta: what about Romano and I

Thesilentone: ew wtf that's incest incest is bad

Pasta: k just checking

Potato: ???Am confused

Pasta: chill I was just checking I've heard that's a thing

Potato: wait what??? To everyone else we're just normal ppl we aren't celebrities or anything???

Thesilentone: wait no-one tell him

Iamacountry: welp there goes the fourth wall

Wytho?: You realize Lichtenstein is here?

Lili: am much confuse what's an incest 

Thesilentone: filth

Lili: aw fuck just googled it

Thesilentone: DONT CLICK IMAGES

Lili: too fucking late  
Lili: I need mind bleach plz

Pasta: I gotchu  
Pasta: *throws mind bleach*

Lili: Ty  
Lili: let's not tell big brother about this k

Pasta: k

Thesilentone: he'd have all of our heads

Baguette: sounds good

Potato: Iat why do you have mind bleach?  
Potato: *Ita its late don't judge 

Pasta: Beacuse of a certain person...

//Pasta glares at Thesilentone.//

Thesilentone: lmao oops

Eyebrows: *Because

Potato: fuck you

Baguette: what no he has moi

Pasta: lol

Hero!: That's Mattie's thing I'm telling

Baguette: umm??? Where did you think he learned it from???

Potato: i keep forgetting that you guys do that...  
Potato: still confused what's a fourth wall

Meneither: you'll know when you're older

Potato: you're a bitch

Meneither: I'm five thousand years old. You're like what 140?

Potato: ...148...

Pasta: wait  
Pasta: I'm technically 158  
Pasta: IM OLDER THAN YOU???

Baguette: I'm 230 I'm older than both of you

Tomatoboi: I'm 550 try me bitches

Meneither: I'm still five thousand.

Tomatoboi: shit he's right

Pasta: ahfhffggvtdfgffffghhf

Buonotomato: great you guys broke ita  
Buonotomato: i think he's questioning life

Potato: Romano can you open the door please this is awkward

Buonotomato: no

Potato: please

Buonotomato: no

Potato: but Feli invited me

Buonotomato: no

Potato: bitch

Buonotomato: no u

Tomatoboi: hold on I'll open the door

Hero!: Woah is there a party idk about??? 

Buonotomato: no please don't come HRE  
Buonotomato: WaiT FUCK *HERE AUTOCORRECT

Pasta: HejahhjjjjdjaHJDJHSJAKHRHWKJDO SJSHJSUSHDJS

Buonotomato: FUCK  
Buonotomato: oh shit he's crying  
Buonotomato: France this is your fault

Baguette: what how what did i do

Buonotomato: you know what you did don't act like you don't bitch

Baguette: i mean??? Germany is??

Potato: wait why is ita crying what's a HRE?

Tomatoboi: you  
Tomatoboi: you is a HRE

Potato: *visible confusion*

Meneither: you'll know when you're older

Potato: I AM 148 YEARS OLD CAN I PLEASE KNOW

 

Buonotomato: oh now Feli's clinging to him Feli is very sad this is your fault froggy bastard

Thesilentone: I'm still saying no-one tell him

Baguette: im sorry

Buonotomato: no you're not

Tomatoboi: Roma you look hilarious this is hilarious   
Tomatoboi: Germany is SO confused, Roma is furiously texting, Italy is very upset, and I'm just kinda chilling

Hero!: I don't think Europe is okay guys

Meneither: me neither

Tomatoboi: no like idk if you know how hilarious you look rn Roma

Buonotomato: STFU TOMATO BASTARD  
Buonotomato: I WILL @ CANADA ON YOUR ASS  
Buonotomato: he WILL KILL YOU DEAD

Tomatoboi: doubt he would respond

Thesilentone: press X to doubt   
Thesilentone: X

Hero!: X

Baguette: X

Tomatoboi: OH SHIT FELI JUST SLAPPED ROMANO IN THE FACE

Baguette: OOOOOOOH OKAY

Hero!: Europe has no chill

Eyebrows: OMG TELL US WHATS HAPPENING

Tomatoboi: okay they're yelling at eachother loudly and in Italian  
Tomatoboi: I think something about holy Rome?  
Tomatoboi: I think Romano's saying sorry  
Tomatoboi: a lot

Potato: can confirm Feli taught me Italian  
Potato: there's also a lot of angry swearing.  
Potato: still confused what's a Holy Rome???

Tomatoboi: idk should prob ask prus if we could tell him but um yeah

Hero!: Idk should we @ him

Baguette: no think of matt he'll be pissy  
Baguette: he hasn't had his timmies yet  
Baguette: we've already had one person stabbed we don't need another  
Baguette: he will kill a bitch.

Buonotomato: okay so we aren't @ing prus  
Buonotomato: what about piano bastard

Potato: why are we @ing prus and Austria???

Pasta: okay I've calmed down.  
Pasta: let's not do that Germany doesn't need an existential crisis at 1 in the morning.

Hero!: Kk

Tomatoboi: agreed 

Buonotomato: okay 

Potato: so fucking confused.

Pasta: good


	10. Canada is *an icecube, Hong Kong, Norgay surrenders, HongIce, Prussia knows the truth, cold bois assemble, Denmark gets it,  Finland and Russia get into a fight.

Mapleboi: ...how lovely.

/Mapleboi uploaded Freezingrain.jpeg/

Tomatoboi: come here it's always sunny!

Mapleboi: it's also always a million degrees.

Tomatoboi: that's a bad thing?

Hero!: He melts like a icecube in anything over 95° lol

Eyebrows: celcius please  
Eyebrows: also *An icecube

Hero!: Uhhh 35 I think??

Tomatoboi: wait what Canada you melt in 35°???

Mapleboi: uh yeah I live in Ottawa it's not constantly sunny unlike at your house.

Tomatoboi: it's literally 0 degrees out rn it's cold af

Mapleboi: -7° and freezing rain bitch it's not that cold last month it went down to like -50°

Tomatoboi: holy shit I'd fucking die.

Ihavevolcanoes: just have a volcano bath that makes everything better

Thesilentone: wait nani dafuq Iceland?

Ihavevolcanoes: oh forgot oops nvm don't do that you guys'll burn to death

Hero!: Lucky bitch take a fucking lava bath

Ihavevolcanoes: it's really nice actually. Really, really warm. Like one of fin's saunas but better

Heavymetalisthebest: excuse me but nothing is better then my saunas

Ihavevolcanoes: it's literally LAVA, Fin. 

Heavymetalisthebest: Sauna.

/Heavymetalisthebest changed his name to Saunagod./

Saunagod: I wanted to do this for a while

Ihavevolcanoes: omg

Mm.: Seems about right

Matthias-cooler-than-you: yep

Ihavevolcanoes: I can take a lava bath what can you do

Saunagod: snipe you from across Scandinavia

Ihavevolcanoes: wait what

Saunagod: jk but I could snipe you from pretty far I'm a hella good shot

Mm.: Can confirm

Mapleboi: I can sit in -40 weather and just chill  
Mapleboi: I hate freezing rain tho  
Mapleboi: FML

Vodka!: China knows kung fu

Meneither: I know literally any Chinese martial art aru

THEAWESOME: Canada also doubles as a icecube

Eyebrows: *An icecube...

Mapleboi: meh true  
Mapleboi: I'm cold as fuck.  
Mapleboi: all the time.

Hero!: One time I spilt hot water on his arm and fucking STEAM CAME OFF.  
Hero!: That's how fucking cold he is

THEAWESOME: yep that sounds about right.

/Hong Kong has logged on./

Hong Kong: what up bitches

Meneither: EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN

Hong Kong: oh hi sensei

Meneither: this is your fault England I blame you

Hong Kong: yo is ice in here?

Ihavevolcanoes: ye

Norgay: how do you know him?  
Norgay: oh FFS Denmark

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lmfao

Norgay: fuck it  
Norgay: I'm not even gonna bother.

Hong Kong: lmao Norgay

Norgay: fuck you

Mapleboi: dude he's like 15 he's a minor you're what 20? isn't sex with a minor illegal? Or is that just me?

Hong Kong: actually I'm 17

Matthias-cooler-than-you: I think I just heard him slam his keyboard upstairs  
Matthias-cooler-than-you: oh now he's swearing in Norwegian.

Mapleboi: lmao you're welcome Norway

Matthias-cooler-than-you: lmao he's pretty pissed Imma go get him some coffee make him feel a bit better brb

Mapleboi: don't die :)

Matthias-cooler-than-you: wow much encouragement 

Mapleboi: pdp

Wytho?: Canada you are a gift to this fucking world

Baguette: you're welcome

Wytho?: ?

Baguette: that's my son.

Wytho?: Ty France

Ihavevolcanoes: actually...  
Ihavevolcanoes: nvm not gonna say anything.

Baguette: stfu he speaks French piss off he's my son

Mapleboi: quoi

Eyebrows: back to the topic of Canada being a gift to the world!

Mapleboi: yay

Ihavevolcanoes: not gonna say anything...

Hong Kong: hey you've got me I'm all you need <3

Ihavevolcanoes: you realize China's here right

Hong Kong: WAIT NO I FORGOT

Thesilentone: China where's my money  
Thesilentone: fucking called it

Meneither: FUCK

Hong Kong: ???

Thesilentone: we made a bet on wether or not you're gay sry HK

Hong Kong: honestly not surprised it's ok

Mapleboi: can I be the topic of conversation again I like not being ignored

Thesilentone: as soon as China gives me my money

Meneither: ...next world meeting...

Thesilentone: fine

Ihavevolcanoes: k now that that's cleared up ily HK <3

Norgay: I come back to this.

Hong Kong: ily too icey <3

Matthias-cooler-than-you: Finland give me my money pls

Saunagod: ...fuckkkkk

Matthias-cooler-than-you: we were drunk don't judge he thought you were straight I thought you were gay

Ihavevolcanoes: actually  
Ihavevolcanoes: I'm not gay or straight  
Ihavevolcanoes: I'm pan  
Ihavevolcanoes: give me your money instead

Matthias-cooler-than-you: FUCK

Ihavevolcanoes: lol

Hero!: Let's be honest everyone here is gay besides maybe Austria Switzerland and the micronations.

THEAWESOME: ACTUALLY!

Austria: stfu prus no-one loves you

Mapleboi: I love him

Vache: don't say shit

Tomatoboi: I know the truuutttthhhhhh

THEAWESOME: Austria's def bi he was married to Spain

Austria: IT wAS A ALlIACE DHJSG JAhSH SH

Tomatoboi: don't lie to yourself I know you enjoyed that

THEAWESOME: and now he's with Hungary personally (Nothing to to with the landmasses or politics)  
THEAWESOME: AND AT ONE POINT AUSTRIA AND SWITZY WERE DATING 

Vache: fuck you

/Austria has disconnected./

Mapleboi: HEY HE'S MINE SWITZY BACK OFF

/Vache has disconnected./

Mapleboi: lol

Hero!: Ooookay...  
Hero!: And the micronations?

Wytho?: Idk at all 

Iamacountry: prob straight

ThethirdItaly: def bi 

Ladonia: most of us are just kids lol 

ThethirdItaly: I'm not count I'm like 18

Mapleboi: The more you know~

Lili: ummm I just heard big brother get a gun Canada you might be in trouble

Hero!: MEME TEAM ASSEMBLE TO PROTECC MATTIE!

Pasta: nah you're on your own

Wytho?: I am a child

/Hero! added Belgianwaffle to the chat./

Belgianwaffle: ?  
Belgianwaffle: y am I here

Hero!: ^

Belgianwaffle: now I know I said we gotta protecc Mattie  
Belgianwaffle: but this is Switzerland we're talking about.

Mapleboi: i fEEL BETRAYED.

Belgianwaffle: don't worry I'll make it up to you somehow, want some yummy snacks?

Mapleboi: yes please

Belgianwaffle: well once you're safe you can come over here and I'll make you some snacks ok?

Mapleboi: k ty  
Mapleboi: YOU HEAR THAT BITCHES I GET SNACKS FROM BELGIUM  
Mapleboi: FUCK YEAH

Buonotomato: lucky bastard.

THEAWESOME: Mattie I can take you over to my house?

Mapleboi: ummm bitch your house is right beside his??

Lili: oH SHIT HE JUST LEFT THE HOUSE WITH HIS GUN CANADA START RUNNING

Mapleboi: I am panicking.  
Mapleboi: what do I do  
Mapleboi: wait there's ice coatING THE FUCKING SIDEWALKS I THINK ILL BE OKAY SWITZERLAND WILL PROB BUST HIS ASS TRYING TO GET HERE

Hero!: Lmao Mattie you okay?

Mapleboi: NOPE JUST REALIZED IM ICED IN MY FUCKING HOUSE?!

Tomatoboi: so glad my land is warm.

Mm.: Unlucky

Saunagod: oof

Ihavevolcanoes: take a lava bath

Norgay: feels bad

Matthias-cooler-than-you: want me to come help you?

Vodka!: I'm in the same boat I'm snowed in

Mapleboi: not sure whether this will be good or bad could go either way.  
Mapleboi: also ice wtF

Ihavevolcanoes: volcanoes

Saunagod: Ice change your name to volcanogod

/Ihavevolcanoes has changed his name to Volcanogod./

Volcanogod: muahaha

Mapleboi: wait  
Mapleboi: cold bois assemble?

Saunagod: YES

/Mapleboi has changed his name to Maplegod./

/Vodka! has changed his name to Vodkagod!/

/Mm. has changed his name to quietgod./

/Matthias-cooler-than-you changed his name to coolestgod./

/Norgay changed his name to Magicgod./

Volcanogod: Y E S .

coolestgod: i have a idea on what I can change Norway's name to now.

Magicgod: don't you dare

Mapleboi: we are the gods of this chat you all listen to us

Thesilentone: but I am your lord

Vodkagod!: You aren't the boss of me

Thesilentone: yOU QUESTION YOUR LORD?

Vodkagod!: ^J^

Thesilentone: stop

Vodkagod!: ^J^ become one, Da?

/Thesilentone left the chat./

Vodkagod!: ^J^

Maplegod: k u can stop now

Vodkagod!: ^J^

/Saunagod slaps Vodkagod!./

Saunagod: bitch

Vodkagod!: no u

Saunagod: im literally across the room from you and I have a gun

Vodkagod!: You wouldnt

Saunagod: you underestimate me

Vodkagod!: You'll be arrested AGAIN. 

Saunagod: do you want to take this outside?

Quietgod: kick his ass fin

Hero!: Why does Finland always have a gun?? He's worse than me lmfao

Coolestgod: Finland has a secret gun and heavy metal obsession.

Hero!: Oh?

Magicgod: can confirm

Volcanogod: yep

Saunagod: I HAVE A GUN. I WILL SHOOT YOU BITCH  
Saunagod: also, I have a hood I'm good at hiding too I'll kill a Bitch

Volcanogod: okay who's turn is it to bail out fin because he killed Russia?

Magicgod: unfortunately, mine...

Hero!: You guys have a whole turn system for that?

Quietgod: it happens all too often.  
Quietgod: but I love it.

Maplegod: since Japan isn't here I'll fill in.  
Maplegod: I ship it.

Coolestgod: SuFin

Lili: DENMARK GETS IT GUYS  
Lili: @Thesilentone

/Thesilentone has connected./

Lili: ^

Thesilentone: welcome to the club Matthias 

Coolestgod: all I did was come up with a ship name lol

Quietgod: @Saunagod you still there..?

.  
..  
...

Quietgod: fuck

Volcanogod: who thought it was a good idea to put those two in the same room?

Magicgod: probably Den

Coolestgod: WAS NOT!

Quietgod: I hear sirens

Maplegod: what is happening Scandinavia?

Quietgod: I was at fin's house and he went to get something from the store. Apparently, Russia was at the same fucking store for whatever reason I'm at the store I'm recording the fight

Volcanogod: this happens more than it should.

Hero!: Wow you guys are crazy

Volcanogod: no it's just Finland

/Quietgod uploaded drawithink?.wmv/

_-_-_-_-Contents of Video_-_-_-_-

"I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKING ASS! AGAIN!" Finland screamed, pointing a rifle at Russia.

"BITCH I WILL END YOU!" Russia screamed back.

Finland took aim with the weapon in his hands, before shooting at Russia a few times, all three bullets hitting.

"K'ck 's ass, F'n!" Sweden yelled from behind the camera.

Russia then grabbed out his metal pipe and charged at Finland, trying to hit him with it.

At this point, a few bystanders are panicing, and one pulled out his phone and called someone. Probably 112, the EU's emergency service number.

The fight continues. Both countries are bleeding, but Russia is more injured than Finland. Both would need medical attention, however.

A few minutes later, the police rush into the store. The two fighting nations try to ignore them. At this point, Finland has Russia pinned against the floor and is hitting the larger's face with the end of his rifle.

The police rush over, pulling a screaming Finland off if Russia. Russia immediately sits up, wiping blood from his mouth, before grabbing the nearest thing to his hand, a dustpan, and throwing it at Finland. 

"EI! ANNA MINUN MENNÄ! HÄN ALOITTI SEN!" Finland screeched, fighting the officer that was trying to cuff him.

"TRAKHNI TEBYA! GLUPAYA SUKA!" Russia screamed, getting pulled up off the ground by police, and put into cuffs.

"WHAT? SORRY, I DON'T SPEAK BASTARD!" Finland shouted at him.

"FUCK YOU!" Russia screeched. 

The officers holding Finland eventually fought him into handcuffs, and the same happened with the officers restraining Russia. One of the officers rushed up to Sweden.

"Sir, laita kamera pois." He told Sweden. The recording cut off.

_-_-_-_-Back in the chat...-_-_-_-_-

Maplegod: holy fuck

Hero!: Damn Finland has no chill

Coolestgod: Finland has two modes: Sweet, adorable angel and fuCKING DEMON SPAWN.

Quietgod: that's pretty accurate.  
Quietgod: I love him either way.

Maplegod: wait are you two together?

Quietgod: yeah...?

Lili: we barely had time to say we ship it once...

Wytho?: OTP.

Thesilentone: OTPPP

Maplegod: Same.

Coolestgod: Sweden thinks that angry Finland is hot AF just saying

Quietgod: i will neither confirm nor deny that claim.

THEAWESOME: same but with Canada

Maplegod: Is that a compliment?

THEAWESOME: yes

Maplegod: aww Ty Ily <3


	11. OwO, F.A.C.E family love, Drunk Mattie, Shipping wars, Baise l'anglais.

Hero!: OwO

Lili: hold on lemme go grab the bleach

Vodkagod!: I will throw you out a window.

Saunagod: You're in the hospital.   
Saunagod: I hate to agree with Russia but I'll throw you out a window for him Ame.

Gaygod: Not again not twice in a week.  
Gaygod: oH FOR FUCKS SAKE DENMARK.

Coolestgod: LMFAO

/Gaygod has changed his name to Magicgod./

Maplegod: LMFAO I DIDN'T THINK HE WOULD ACTUALLY FUCKING DO IT

Baguette: omg Ame

Eyebrows: lol

Thesilentone: I will kill you America.

Maplegod: but AmeriPan?

Thesilentone: NO.  
Thesilentone: BAD.  
Thesilentone: NO AMERIPAN.

Eyebrows: for a bit of background, it's family game night and Canada just dared America to say OwO in the chat.

Maplegod: weve got our s/os here too wanna know whos all here  
Maplegod: Besides F.A.C.E, Prussia and Jpan are here

Lili: can't tell if AmeriPan or AsaKiku.

Maplegod: AmeriPan.

Thesilentone: oh FFS Canada

Baguette: lmao Canada just got bitchslapped by both America and Japan   
Baguette: oh now Prussia is protecting him  
Baguette: lol Prussia kinda just stole Canada

Maplegod: this is fine.

Potato: wdym by stole?

Eyebrows: he literally picked him up bridal style and carried him into the other room.

Baguette: prus give me back my son svp

THEAWESOME: no he is mine

Maplegod: 100% fine with this btw

Hero!: I want my brother back give him back prus

THEAWESOME: no mine  
THEAWESOME: you slapped him therefore he's mine

Maplegod: im fine with this prus is warm

Eyebrows: wait how is prus texting and holding Mattie at the same time

Maplegod: im texting for him were in the kitchen  
Maplegod: he says no my secret 

Baguette: lol

Thesilentone: I ship it

Maplegod: the oly proper prussia ship just sayin

Lili: you're just saying that bc you're dating him PruAus is valid

Wytho?: What about RusCan

Thesilentone: no RoChu is best

Maplegod: no only PruCan

Hero!: I don't understand what's happening

Thesilentone: but what about Tulip Festival?

Coolestgod: you mean NedCan?

Maplegod: no NedCan only PruCan

Baguette: I fully support PruCan

Thesilentone: k Can besides PruCan what is your favorite ship with yourself.

Maplegod: Nyo!PruCan

Thesilentone: besides that

Maplegod: 2p!PruCan.

Thesilentone: HA NOW YOURE OUT OF AUS TELL US.

Maplegod: Gakuen!PruCan  
Maplegod: I will never run out of aus.

Thesilentone: omfg

Maplegod: Hetero!PruCan  
Maplegod: Hetero!CanPru

Thesilentone: FINE YOU WIN.

Maplegod: :)

Potato: am confused what's a au?

Pasta: noone tell him let him figure it out

Iamacountry: GUYS THE FOURTH WALL

Lili: FUCK THE FOURTH WALL!

Maplegod: n lili don't fuck the wall thats not how that works

Lili: you're a jerk

Maplegod: no m a gift!

Potato: WHAT IS A FOURTH WALL HAHHHS HAJDGDJJAHDOSKSK

Austria: Google it.

THEAWESOME: WHEN DID YOU COME BACK?

Austria: in between chapters.

Potato: just googled fourth wall wtf

Wytho?: Okay now Google Hetalia

Pasta: WY NO!

Potato: wTF IS THIS

Thesilentone: WY YOU RUINED IT

Wytho?: You're welcome Germany go do some research.

Iamacountry: guys should we fix the fourth wall

Hero!: no

Vodkagod!: Nyet

THEAWESOME: nein.

Baguette: non

Pasta: no

Saunagod: Ei.

Maplegod: ouiiiii

Potato: why what is this

Pasta: Blame Japan.

Thesilentone: dO NOT BLAME ME

THEAWESOME: okay Mattie said yes fix the fourth wall rn

Baguette: anyways prus give me back my son or I'll take him from you

Maplegod: no prussia is warm I love him

Baguette: I'm coming

Hero!: Lmao I'm filming this.

Maplegod: vdjsjskak(kkkjJJkJJjJJNJAKKALPE

Thesilentone: oh god

/Hero!: uploaded FACEfamilylove.wmv/

Potato: oh no.

_-_-_-_-Contents of Video_-_-_-_-

"OKAY FUCKER GIVE CANADA BACK!" France yelled at Prussia, who was holding Canada and standing across the room.

"NO HE'S MINE!" Prussia responded.

"Can't you guys share? Honestly..." Canada asked, stretching in Prussia's arms.

America pitched in from behind the camera, "THAT SOUNDS LIKE COMMUNISM!"

"GIVE ME MY SON!" France shouted.

"NO!" Prussia replied, hugging said son.

"Can I stay with Prussia~? He's warm~..." Canada whined quietly.

"I'm warm too! I'll hug you!" France cried.

Canada continued, "He also gives me kisses~. And I love him."

"I love you!" France replied.

Canada bit back at him with, "Yeah... but he never forgot about me ON MY BIRTHDAY!"

The camera pans over to England who has a hand over his mouth, before panning back to the argument.

"JE SUIS DÉSOLÉ! I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"

"Yeah I bet you didn't mean to mistake me for AMERICA AND GIVE ME FUCKING CONDOMS, AND I QUOTE, 'To use with Japan'!" Canada snapped at him.

The camera pans again, to an extremely embarrassed Japan, with his face in his hands. The camera pans back to France slamming his hand on the table beside him in anger.

"THAT WAS ONE TIME!"

"STILL HAPPENED!"

"America, turn off the bloody camera..." England tells America.

"No, it's just getting good!"

"YOU'RE A TERRIBLE FATHER!" Canada screamed, nearly falling out of Prussia's arms.

Now France is crying. England briefly enters the frame and grabs France.

"Let's go frog. Calm down..." England tells him, dragging him away.

France and England leave the frame, as America approaches Prussia and Canada. 

"Oh my god... Canada what was that for?" Prussia scolds him.

"It's true! Also, get that camera out of my face~!"

The recording cut off.

_-_-_-_-Back in the chat..._-_-_-_-

Baguette: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER I'M SORRY CANADA I REALLY AM I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE SUCH A BAD FATHER TO YOU I'M SO SORRY!

Eyebrows: good job. He's bawling his eyes out and screaming at me in French.

Maplegod: let's be honest he tried to give me birthday sexxx.

Baguette: I WAS DRUNK THAT NIGHT! I PROMISE I DID NOT TRY TO FUCK MY SON I BLAME PRUSSIA AND SPAIN THEY GOT ME DRUNK IM SORRY GJDSJSUJBLPGVJVF

Maplegod: yeah and I ws drunk when said non parce que I WAS ALREADY DATING PRUSSIA!

THEAWESOME: THAT WAS ALL SPAIN I DIDN'T DO SHIT I OFFERED YOU ONE BEER! YOU DIDN'T EVEN DRINK IT!

Tomatoboi: can confirm he was absolutely wasted that wasn't his fault. He drank like 900000 bottles of wine.

Potato: Prussia is their family okay?

THEAWESOME: no they all have issues.

Potato: do you want to take Canada over here our family is much more sane.

Maplegod: idk wht family?

Potato: me, Prussia, the Italies, Austria, Hungary and Spain.  
Potato: believe it or not we actually get along decently.

Maplegod: sure I ned a brewk from Amérique and France.

Baguette: IM SORRY!

Maplegod: Im nt.

Baguette: POURQUOI?!

Maplegod: Parce que j'aime la Prusse plus que toi.

Baguette: JE SUIS EN LARMES 

Maplegod: bye guys were leaving now.

Hero!: Bye

Eyebrows: au revoir  
Eyebrows: WAIT FUCK SHIT I BLAME YOU TWO

Baguette: JE T'AIME JE SUIS DÉSOLÉ!!!

Maplegod: je ne pas désole au revoir.

Baguette: AJDUSKSNSJJSJIMFUCKINGSORRY

THEAWESOME: okay Mattie that was just rude he's very sad

Maplegod: I have a confession  
Maplegod: I stole some of Ame's beer so I'm a bit drunk sry guys  
Maplegod: by a some I mean 10ish bottles over the course of the night.  
Maplegod: probably a few mrv

Hero!: BITCH!

Lili: how did we go from OwO to shipping wars to this...?

Pasta: Welcome to being a country.

Maplegod: Prussia get me food

THEAWESOME: I'm right here

Maplegod: I want food

THEAWESOME: I'm not buying you food

Maplegod: yes u atracl

Hero!: I feel like he's slowly getting more drunk

THEAWESOME: I just had to take another beer from him 

Maplegod: Jtm <3

Eyebrows: wait just one bloody second that's French.

Maplegod: que voulez-vous dire

Eyebrows: Matthew, anglais svp

Maplegod: non BAISE l'ANGLAIS

Eyebrows: Matthew svp certaines personnes ne parlent pas français ...

Maplegod : Non baise l'anglais.  
Maplegod : Anglais est stupide.

Eyebrows : Je suis offensé.

Maplegod : Ça m'est égal.

Eyebrows : CHIENNE!

Maplegod : Baise l'anglais  
Maplegod : et non toi.

Eyebrows: he keeps saying fuck English this bitch. Prussia control your boyfriend

THEAWESOME: he's only speaking French this is a issue  
THEAWESOME: I only know a bit of French he's saying something about English and how it sucks  
THEAWESOME: Ich stimme ihm zu.  
THEAWESOME: Englisch ist dumm.

Meneither: 我也是  
Meneither: 我讨厌英语。

Hong Kong: 我同意中国的看法。

Vodkagod!: Ну пора по русски, верно? ^J^

Eyebrows: guys come on we agreed on this centuries ago...

Thesilentone: すみませんが、今は日本語しか話せません

Tomatoboi: Ok hora española

Buonotomato: Stupido bastardo del tè, la tua lingua è fottuta.

Pasta: ^

Lili: Fick Englisch.

THEAWESOME: @Potato  
THEAWESOME: @Potato

Potato: what

THEAWESOME: boykottieren Sie Englisch mit uns.  
THEAWESOME: Vorzugsweise auf Deutsch.

Potato: Okay fick Englisch.

/Maplegod has changed his name to Dieudérable./

/Potato changed his name to Kartoffel./

/Austria has changed his name to Österreich♪/

Eyebrows: this is ridiculous.

Meneither: 我可以来俄罗斯吗？

Vodkagod!: Да, конечно.

Meneither: 谢谢你，我爱你。

Vodkagod!: я тоже тебя люблю

Thesilentone: <3

Meneither: 出去.

Eyebrows: for fucks sake.


	12. Chapter 12

Lili: Ugh why is my name Liechtenstein it's soooo long.

Hero!: Umm? Try United States of America...

Eyebrows: United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.  
Eyebrows: fight me.

/Hong Kong has changed his name to Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China./

 

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: I win.

Eyebrows: Woah okay then.

China: change it back.

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: no this is my name.  
Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: I'm using my full name.  
Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: also when did you change your nickname?

Potato: Woah and I thought Bundesrepublik Deutschland was long.

Baguette: if you put that on a job application you would be shot.

 

China: 中华人民共和国香港特别行政区现在改名。

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: 没有

Volcanogod: HK stop please

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: No.  
Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: also, that's HKSARPRC.

Volcanogod: HoNG KONG

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: yeah icey?

Volcanogod: I like your ideas.

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: Ty icey ily

Volcanogod: ily too

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: anyone else?

China: no please Hong Kong change your name pls you're spamming the chat I can't see anything else

/Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China has changed his name to Hong Kong./

Hong Kong: fine

THEAWESOME: hELP ME.  
THEAWESOME: WEST

Hero!: Prus what's wrong

THEAWESOME: CANADA IS LAYING DIRECTLY ACROSS MY CHEST AND HE'S REALLY HEAVY  
THEAWESOME: @POTATO HELP

Potato: I would, but...

/Potato uploaded ita.jpeg/

Potato: he looks really comfy I don't wanna wake him up.

Hero!: Just tell him to move or something.

THEAWESOME: HE'S ASLEEP AND WE DONT HAVE COFFEE AUSTRIA HELP

Austria: no. suffer.

THEAWESOME: BITCH  
THEAWESOME: ROMANO?

buonotomato: sorry I don't feel like dying today waking Matt up isn't very fun.

THEAWESOME: SPAIN PLEASE YOU GOTTA HELP ME

Tomatoboi: ah well normally I would but waking up anyone besides Germany or Roma in this family is hell.

Hero!: Wdym in this family?

Tomatoboi: Roma~

Buonotomato: NOT IN THE GROUP CHAT WTF

Tomatoboi: I love you~

Buonotomato: NOT IN THE GROUP CHAT YOU BASTARD

Thesilentone: I ship it

Hero!: Honestly who doesn't ship SpaMano.

Buonotomato: omg STUPID FUCKING BASTARDS GEHSUSHWUUSUSHHS

THEAWESOME: okay someone please he's actually really fucking heavy  
THEAWESOME: like he's only a little lighter than Ame

Hero!: Pretty accurate, he eats pancakes and syrup like I eat burgers he just gets a bit more exercise bc he's shoveling his sidewalk every ten seconds.  
Hero!: Also he's the second largest country in the world sooooo good luck

Baguette: hON HON HON

Eyebrows: not in that way stupid frog!

THEAWESOME: I give him piggybacks all the time he's never this heavy HELP  
THEAWESOME: Austria please get Hungary

Austria: she said no fuck you

THEAWESOME: look at Mattie omg

/THEAWESOME has uploaded helpme.jpeg/

Belgianwaffle: OMFG LOOK AT HIS FACE HE'S SO HAPPY JUST LET HIM SLEEP PRUS  
Belgianwaffle: LOOK

/Belgianwaffle uploaded awww.jpeg/

Buonotomato: I can't see the pic can you like idk

Belgianwaffle: he looks almost like this  
Belgianwaffle: :3

Buonotomato: aww that's actually kinda cute

Baguette: Woah you actually made Romano say aww? Romano are you sick? Do you need to go to the hospital?

Buonotomato: I'm fine, bastard.

Belgianwaffle: Romano likes me I give him snacks.

THEAWESOME: WHY IS HE SO HEAVY WTF AME

Hero!: Idk his eating habits he just eats lots of fucking maple syrup and pancakes.  
Hero!: Also poutine and bacon.

THEAWESOME: someone PLEASE  
THEAWESOME: he's gonna fUCKING SUFFOCATE ME HE JUST MOVED HE'S ALMOST DIRECTLY ACROSS MY NECCKKKK HAJDGDHSJSHAIJ

Belgianwaffle: but he's soooo hapoy  
Belgianwaffle: leave him alone

THEAWESOME: seriously considering waking him up someone get coffee so he won't kill me

Austria: okay I'll go grab some coffee gl don't die

THEAWESOME: meh I'm too awesome to die West's got me

Potato: that's true.

THEAWESOME: west do me a favor and never die

Potato: okay can probably do

THEAWESOME: and don't start any more wars

Potato: definitely not planning on it do not bring up the wars

Hero!: Shall I get Poland?

Potato: dO NOT GET POLAND

Hero!: Get Poland? Okay

Potato: I SAID DONT GET POLAND!

/Hero! has added Feliks to the chat./

Feliks: ITS 3 O CLOCK AND I NEED MY BEAUTY SLEEP WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.

Hero!: Lol hi

Feliks: Wait is Liet in here?

Hero!: No

Feliks: add Liet or I'll smack a bitch

/Hero! has added Toris Laurinitis to the chat./

Toris Laurinitis: ?

Vodkagod!: Hello Lithuania...!

Toris Laurinitis: AMERICA WHY I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS 

Hero!: Don't worry we're all chill here

Toris: ITS LITERALLY RUSSIA HE'S NEVER CHILL

Vodkagod!: ^J^

Feliks: RUSSIA I STG I WILL DESTROY YOU YOU LITTLE BITCH GDJSJWJW BACK OFF LIET

Vodkagod!: ^J^

Thesilentone: STOP

Vodkagod!: ^J^

/Thesilentone has disconnected./

Hero!: How to get what you want with Ivan Braginski.

Potato: pretty much

Coolestgod: uh Prussia hasn't chatted in a while is he okay?

Potato: well I think Mattie is screaming at him in some weird combination of English and French so I don't think so  
Potato: WAIT FUCK FELI IS WAKING UP  
Potato: I'm so dead wish me luck

Buonotomato: gl  
Buonotomato: cue angry Italian screaming.

Hero!: Just give Canada Tim Horton's you'll live

THEAWESOME: I'm sorry I don't think thERE'S TIM HORTONS IN GERMANY.

Hero!: Oops

THEAWESOME: I AM HIDING IN A CLOSET.

Potato: which closet I'll come save you

Pasta: WHO THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO START SCREAMING AT 3 O CLOCK

THEAWESOME: Mattie?

Pasta: @MAPLEGOD ILL FUCKING KILL YOU I WAS SLEEPING

Maplegod: FITE ME YOU BITCH 

Pasta: ILL HAVE YOU SPEAKING ITALIAN BY NEXT FUCKING WEEK 

Hero!: Oh sHIT 

/Thesilentone has reconnected./

Vodkagod!: WOAH

Buonotomato: FELICIANO VARGAS STOP DO NOT START ANY WARS

Volcanogod: Italy got no chill whatsoever.

Feliks: LITHUANIA GET THE CAMERA!

Toris Laurinitis: it's a chatroom Poland...

Maplegod: @THEAWESOME WHERE ARE YOU

THEAWESOME: GO AWAY

Thesilentone: did you know that when you get a song stuck in your head it's bc your soulmate is singing it?

Hero!: Wait when did you come back?

Wytho?: Okay which one of you fucks is singing some kind of weird Marukaite Chikyuu?

Iamacountry: *sweats nervously*

Wytho?: Sea you're lying.

/Iamacountry has uploaded MarukaiteChikyuusealand.mp3/

.  
..  
...

/Wytho?: Has disconnected./

Potato: what happened I don't hear angry Italian or English  
Potato: or even French.  
Potato: did they go back to sleep...?

THEAWESOME: Mattie is. He's taking up the whole bed...

Hero!: Sleep on top of him he won't give a fuck.

Austria: I heard something slam did someone fall?

/Potato uploaded oof.jpeg/

Belgianwaffle: that's both sad and adorable at the same time.

Potato: Feli was so tired he kinda just flopped down on the floor and went to sleep.

Hong Kong: back to what we were doing before...

/Hong Kong has changed his name to Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China./

China: hONG KONG!

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: yes sensei?

China: England I blame you 100%  
China: wAIT WHY ARENT YOU IN YOUR ROOM?

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: oh yeah forgot to tell you I went over to Ice's.

China: Norway check on your brother and HK for me

Magicgod: I'm sorry he lives on a island a million miles away from Europe I can't exactly do that you fucking idiot.

China: fuck you

Vodkagod!: BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING ME?!

China: did you pick that up from Canada?

Vodkagod!: Da.

China: figures.

Hero!: What's happening?

Vodkagod!: China wants to become one ^J^

China: WE ARE DATING IN A NON POLITICAL WAY ONLY AS PEOPLE NOT AS NATIONS! RUSSIA I SWEAR!

Vodkagod!: Lmao

Hero!: COMMUNISTS!

Vodkagod!: Stfu stupid bitch

Tomatoboi: China is like 63926297328462873 million years old, Russia is only 1156.

China: actually I'm only 4000 it's only a three millenia difference. Besides, physically, as humans, I'm only twenty-ish so is Russia soooo  
China: hard to keep track of. 4000 years old, you know?

Vodkagod!: Same I only really pay attention to my age as a nation. 

Hero!: Be China. Be dating Russia. Have a THREE MILLENIA AGE DIFFERENCE. Not know your human age.

China: stfu I doubt you can keep track of your human age.

Hero!: I am 19 years old. So is Mattie. England is 23, France is 26. Germany is, suprisingly, only 20, and so is Italy. Speaking of the Italies, Romano is 23, and Seborga is 18. Japan is 18, Prussia is 23, like Romano, and Spain is 25.

China: ok wow.  
China: you win.

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: accurate

China: Hong Kong come on

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: no

China: HONG KONG I WILL GROUND YOU.

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: you can't ground me I'm my own country.

China: fuck you.

Belgianwaffle: that's incest ew

Vodkagod!: CHINA PLEASE STOP TRYING TO FUCK EVERYONE

China: oh ffs  
China: Russia Ily

Vodkagod!: All is forgiven come over please

China: sure I'll be over in a few hours 

Vodkagod!: Ty I'm very lonely

China: noo don't be lonely I'm coming  
China: give me about ten hours

Vodkagod!: ^J^

China: I'm gonna go pack see you guys later

/China has disconnected./

Thesilentone: RoChu.

Vodkagod!: I ship RoChu.

Thesilentone: oh of course you do you're literally in the ship I'm sure China ships RoChu too.

Hero!: Same boat I ship ameripan

/Baguette takes a sip of wine./

Baguette: that's gay.

Hero!: no u

Baguette: I would agree with that statement, but I am bisexual.

Hero!: I know

Baguette: how

Hero!: I have to deal with iggybrows after world meetings and his drunk ramblings about you.

Baguette: oh.

Eyebrows: YOU BLOODY GIT STFU  
Eyebrows: DONT CALL ME THAT.

Hero!: Lol okay there iggybrows chill  
Hero!: Also sometimes they're in French so I have Google translate on my phone.

Eyebrows: SERIOUSLY SHUT

Hero!: Lol

Baguette: I am both confused and honoured I thought you hated French

Eyebrows: well I thought I might as well learn it because I'm with you so

/Vodkagod! takes a sip of vodka./

Vodkagod!: Now that's gay.

Eyebrows: FUCK FORGOT EVERYONE IS IN HERE

Hero!: Yo Russia isn't being gay frowned upon by your people?

Vodkagod!: Yep. Honestly though, I don't care. I just have to make sure my boss doesn't find out about me and China. Easy enough, we've been doing it for years.

Baguette: that can be read in two ways.

Eyebrows: oH FOR FUCK'S SAKE FRANCIS!

Baguette: lol

Vodkagod!: Well, technically both ways are correct.

Baguette: Lmao

Hero!: I'm bored now.

Baguette: I would like to take a moment to acknowledge all of the difficulties of having relationships as a nation, especially outside of Europe. The distance between us is kinda pretty huge, and it costs lots of money to fly out to see eachother.

THEAWESOME: I can relate. Do you know how a flight from Berlin to Ottawa costs?

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: no, but do you know how much and how long a flight from Hong Kong to Reykjavik is? It's like a day long trip and it costs so much money. And you have to wake up in the morning for transferring onto another plane, and it's uncomfortable, but it's all worth it to see icey <3

Volcanogod: aww <3

Magicgod: okay that's actually adorable.

Hero!: wTF GUYS I THINK NORWAY AND ROMANO ARE TERRIBLY SICK WE NEED A DOCTOR

Coolestgod: Woah did Norge actually say that or did someone steal his phone?

Magicgod: Yes, it is in fact me. Am I not allowed to acknowledge the fact that my little brother is in an adorable relationship?

Coolestgod: Woah my head hurts now

Volcanogod: that's a compliment, right?

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: yeah I think so

Magicgod: now call me big brother already.

Coolestgod: nvm that's definitely Norge.

Volcanogod: wow that's all you want out of me isn't it

Magicgod: yep, mostly.

Saunagod: can I be big brother too?

Volcanogod: you have two children and a dog I'm sure you're fine.

Saunagod: yes but I don't have a brother

Volcanogod: idc.

Saunagod: you're mean

Volcanogod: no I'm not

Baguette: so what's everyone up to?

Saunagod: cuddling with su-san.

Vodkagod!: Waiting for China.

THEAWESOME: trying to figure out how to get into bed without waking Canada up again.

Potato: making sure Feli stays asleep.

Eyebrows: cooking.

Baguette: ENGLAND NO GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN

Eyebrows: YOURE NOT MY MOM!


	13. Chapter 13

Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: Um  
Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: so  
Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China: in theory

China: change your name back now 

/Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China has changed his name to Hong Kong./

Hong Kong: anyways back to what I was saying.  
Hong Kong: theoretically  
Hong Kong: if you accidentally blow up your house with fireworks what should you do?

China: yOU BLEW UO YOUR HOUSE WITH FIREWORKS!?

Hong Kong: possibly.

China: HONG KONG!

Hong Kong: Oops?

Pasta: you run because the cops and fire dp will be there soon.  
Pasta: then loop around onto the street you lived on before you burnt the house down and pretend to freak out when you see what happened because "No officer idk what you're talking about I didn't know about this!"

Hong Kong: okay good idea be back in a few running

Potato: wtf Feli that's oddly specific.

Pasta: I might've been in a similar situation before.

Hero!: Who hasn't burnt down a house with fireworks.

Pasta: now for me it wasn't fireworks but a murder that got my house blocked off.

ThethirdItaly: oh I was there I remember that!

Potato: wAIT WTF

Hero!: Back to fireworks?

Potato: I'm vetoing this back to fireworks  
Potato: Feli you're telling me all about that later.

Pasta: okay.

Eyebrows: who died and made you leader?

Potato: everyone's sanity.

Baguette: he has a point.

China: England I blame you.

Eyebrows: HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?

China: idk you were a bad influence on him.

Eyebrows: HDKSGDOAEOZYEBE

Hong Kong: okay I ran ita help

Pasta: do you still have anything on you that would get you arrested? Any evidence, or in your case, burns?

Hong Kong: nope.

Pasta: now just cycle back around like nothing ever happened.

Hong Kong: k

China: why ARE YOU HELPING HIM.

Pasta: nothing better to do?

Vodkagod!: China come downstairs I made breakfast.

China: one minute I'm dealing with HK being stupid 

Vodkagod!: Can you do that down here?

China: ...fine.

Tomatoboi: just turned on phone. Scrolled up, very confused. Feli please tell.

Pasta: Long story short, some poor bastard decided it was a great idea to try to break into my house and steal some shit.  
Pasta: it was not.

Hero!: Oh SHIT

ThethirdItaly: I was there. Can confirm, wasn't a good idea to break into Feli's house.  
ThethirdItaly: rip poor bastard. Only deserved half of what he got. Received bloody, painful death.

Baguette: god damn.

Potato: why aren't you like that when I'm around?

Pasta: sEBORGA!

ThethirdItaly: yes?

Pasta: jsfskseoswodgjHRLAFIESFSBSI

Baguette: *Keyboard smash intensifies*

Pasta: JDLAGAJSOASUABSNKSIJDOSJSJZBDKSSKZHJSJZISHDKSJDKSJDKSHDJKZHXNMSIEIDKDIDGAKDUSIJSUTKGDKTOSKYYKDYDSKTDKDKYTDJTJXKXJXTJXTJTSAJTFQKGWKVEIWIVBEIVWIBIEGWIGKWWYKDTJYDYDKUFLUGEIHSKVODBKHKCSUV

Baguette: *KEYBOARD SMASH INTENSIFIES EVEN MORE.*

Buonotomato: he's furiously smashing his fingers into the phone and it's fucking hilarious he looks so angry too lmfao  
Buonotomato: OW HE FUCKING SLAPPED ME

ThethirdItaly: oh I can hear them yelling downstairs.

Potato: please translate I can hear them too

ThethirdItaly: pretty much calling eachother bastards   
ThethirdItaly: OH NEVERMIND THINGS JUST ESCALATED

Potato: what are they saying

ThethirdItaly: THEYRE TRASH TALKING EACHOTHER'S ACTIONS AND RELATIONSHIPS AND FLAWS  
ThethirdItaly: OMFG ROMANO DIDNT JUST GO THERE

Potato: wHAT IS HAPPENING

ThethirdItaly: HOLY SHIT ROMANO JUST BROUGHT UP HRE HE'S FUCKING DEAD 

/Baguette takes a sip of wine./

Baguette: That escalated quickly.

ThethirdItaly: FELI IS SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS FUCKING LUNGS MY EARRRRSSSS

Potato: please make them stop  
Potato: wAIT HOLY FUCK  
Potato: THERE'S A FUCKING SPIDER  
Potato: PLEASE SOMEONE COME SAVE ME  
Potato: IM PANICING  
Potato: ITS LIKE THE SIZE OF MY HAND HEKVSKS  
Potato: SOMEONE PLEASE

THEAWESOME: why is Feli screaming did we run out of pasta again?

Hero!: How's mattie?

THEAWESOME: I got him earplugs we're fine.  
THEAWESOME: what is happening.

Potato: PRUSSIA THERE'S A SPIDER  
Potato: PRUSSIA WTF ITS GETTING CLOSER ITD ON THE DOOR AND I CANT LEAVE AND IM SCARED HELP

Hero!: Is Germany afraid of spiders?

THEAWESOME: yes. Very.

Potato: USLSUWJXOSDUUDYSIGOSBD

Hero!: Germany of all people afraid of spiders. Wow.

THEAWESOME: I just heard him scream and throw something brb gotta go save west.

Baguette: why is everyone else's family a mess?

China: says you.

Saunagod: our family isn't we're happy and normal!

Iamacountry: mama, you've been arrested for attempted murder, mostly at Russia, more times than I can count. Besides, we're nations. How normal can it get?

ThethirdItaly: France I blame you

Baguette: oh ffs

THEAWESOME: back I saved west he's okay.  
THEAWESOME: it was tiny Gilbird kinda just jumped off of my shoulder and ate it.

Potato: it was going to murder me I could see the evil in its tiny beady eyes.

Hero!: Okay then Google Lukas the Spider.

Potato: no.

Hero!: It's really fucking adorable believe me.

Potato: no.

THEAWESOME: I'll do it for him.

Baguette: has the screaming stopped yet 

ThethirdItaly: yep now just sad crying on Feli's part.  
ThethirdItaly: I don't hear Romano someone go check on them

Potato: I'll do it Feli won't kill me.

THEAWESOME: omfg this is so adorable.

Potato: how are spiders adorable?

THEAWESOME: THIS IS SO CUTE WHERE'S THE MERCH STORE

Potato: Prussia I am NOT LETTING YOU BRING SPIDER MERCH INTO THIS HOUSE.

THEAWESOME: it's so cute holy shit I'm actually gonna die.

.  
..  
...

ThethirdItaly: I hear upset Italian is Romano okay?

Potato: Romano's hiding somewhere, Feli is on the floor crying his eyes out, from what I can tell they were both bleeding, Feli keeps mumbling "come back" or something... What the fuck just happened.

THEAWESOME: It's time, Ludwig.

Potato: time for what

THEAWESOME: time to learn why Feli's trigger word is HRE.

Potato: what is a HRE?

THEAWESOME: come upstairs and I'll tell you.

Potato: just tell me here

THEAWESOME: it'll be better in person.

Potato: okay then.

/Potato has disconnected./  
/THEAWESOME has disconnected./

Eyebrows: OH SHIT PRUSSIA IS ABOUT TO SPILL THE TEA.

Baguette: I am prepared to die.

Tomatoboi: you better be he's gonna hate you.

Hero!: Is Europe okay?

ThethirdItaly: no.


	14. Germany's life is a lie. Also lots of GerIta.

Potato: my life is a lie.

Pasta: why?

THEAWESOME: OKAY ONE MORE THING NEVER TELL ITALY EVER

Potato: okay?

Buonotomato: HE CANT KNOW PLEASE

Austria: don't tell him Germany

Baguette: I dONT WANT TO DIE  
Baguette: GERMANY IM SORRY

Potato: wAIT FRANCE 

Baguette: IM SO DEAD MATTHIEU ANGLETERRE AMÉRIQUE SAVE ME PLEASE

Potato: YOU BASTARD

Hero!: Nah you're on your own

Eyebrows: nope

Maplegod: I mean I can make Prussia help you but im not getting involved

Pasta: what is HAPPENING.

Potato: drama. Don't worry about it  
Potato: can I slap France? I'm gonna slap France.

Baguette: fuck

Pasta: WHAT IS GOING ON

//Seborga takes a sip of wine.//

THEAWESOME: SEBORGA I STG

Buonotomato: OMFG NO I WILL KILL YOU

Seborga: Germany is Holy Roman Empire.

Buonotomato: sEBORGA

THEAWESOME: HOLD ON WEST IM DRIVING TO ITALY TO KILL SEBORGA

Potato: please don't I think romano can handle it

Buonotomato: I AM COMING DOWNSTAIRS TO STRANGLE YOU SEBORGA

Seborga: I am the bringer of truth.

/Seborga has changed his name to Truthbringer./

Truthbringer: you're welcome Italy.

Pasta: is my clock wrong? It says it's only March 11th?

.  
..  
...  
....

Pasta: ...wait...  
Pasta: SEBORGA YOURE SERIOUS?

Truthbringer: yep

/Truthbringer has disconnected due to device shutdown./

Pasta: ...I hear strangling noises.  
Pasta: this is legit?

Potato: ...  
Potato: so you're the "Girl" in the dress.

Pasta: YOU THOUGHT I WAS A GIRL?

Potato: YOU WERE WEARING A DRESS!

Poland: boys can wear dresses if they want to!

Pasta: OKAY IM COMING OVER GERMANY AND @VACHE IM CUTTING THROUGH YOUR YARD IF YOU TRY AND STOP ME ILL FUCKING MURDER YOU OKAY

/Vache has connected./

Vache: ...  
Vache: normally I'd try and charge you but I don't feel like dying go ahead

Lili: Woah Italy got no chill

Potato: this is fine

Pasta: oh MY FUCKING GOD I DONT KNOW WHAT IM FEELING RIGHT NOW BT IM CRYNG AND IM HAPPY AND IM UPSET AT THE SAME TIME AND HOLY FUCKHSKHSKNBJXSKISJKSHDJXJJCHSGFHKDOSLS

Potato: I'm actually really happy but I don't remember much sooooooo

Pasta: I'm CRYINH BUT IM SO HAPPY WHAT IS HAPPENING AM I DYING MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST HOLY FUCK AM I HAVING A HEART ATTAVK

Maplegod: how fast exactly? Are you having trouble breathing? Are you lightheaded or dizzy? Do you have pain in your shoulder or arm? How about jaw, neck or back pain?

Pasta: YES SEVERAL OF THOSE

Maplegod: Probably. You're experiencing a lot of emotions rn, so you could also suddenly develop life-threatening abnormal heart rhythm. You might die in a few minutes.

Hero!: Canada stop being a doctor he'll be fine we're nations

Maplegod: yes but I gotta help it's my job  
Maplegod: @Buonotomato go help your brother he's actually dying

Buonotomato: okay Seborga's dead anyways  
Buonotomato: I only strangled him he'll be okay in a hour

Pasta: JDJHAOABHDISGDDJSVSJKSBDKSKFKAHDSB  
Pasta: IM FUCKING ACTUALLY DYING HSF

Buonotomato: I'm coming up the stairs hold on you'll be ok

Pasta: NO I WON'T I CAN BARELY FUCKING BREATHE

Maplegod: he's probably having heart issues bc of the shock

Potato: ...  
Potato: should I be worried about him?

Maplegod: oh he's a nation he'll be fine

Wytho?: Man I'm glad I'm not in Europe y'all are insane

Volcanogod: I'm just glad I'm not anywhere near these idiots

Potato: I'm worried Romano what's happening

/Truthbringer has connected./

Truthbringer: holy shit I'm alive  
Truthbringer: I thought it would be worse than that

Potato: SEBORGA IS ITALY OKAY

THEAWESOME: Woah West's panicking??

Truthbringer: uh I'm in the basement he's on the top floor idk  
Truthbringer: I'm too scared to go upstairs Romano's gonna kill me again  
Truthbringer: I'm lucky I woke up this fast.

Buonotomato: HE'S OKAY

Pasta: IM OKAY EVERYTHING IS FINE

Potato: omg thank god

THEAWESOME: west was worried about u

Pasta: no don't worry I'm okay

Potato: well I didn't know I got scared okay?

Pasta: I'm okay it's okay

Potato: yes but I was scared

Pasta: it's okay I won't die anyways

Potato: yes but I wanna see u rn if u died I'd have to wait

Pasta: I wanna see u too I'm coming over k?

Potato: okay Imma make a cake we can have a cake and discuss wtf just happened

Pasta: okay I'm coming just lemme grab a coat

Potato: okay what kind of cake u want

Pasta: idc if you made it anything's fine

Potato: yeah but

Pasta: idc

Potato: is chocolate ok

Pasta: si

THEAWESOME: this is adorable 

Thesilentone: screenshotted this is my otp

Fryingpan: GerIta OTP

Belgianwaffle: but what about ItaGer?

Fryingpan: meh why not both

Thesilentone: I don't care either or

Pasta: okay I'm coming give me a hour or so

Potato: okay see u ily

Pasta: ily too

/Pasta has disconnected./

THEAWESOME: relationship goals

Maplegod: honestly

Baguette: wow I feel like a dick now why would I do what I did  
Baguette: oh yeah my boss made me

Buonotomato: holy shit I've actually never seen him like this he's so happy like happier than usual  
Buonotomato: like take him normally and multiply by 100.  
Buonotomato: Potato bastard if you ever break his heart I'll make your capital Rome  
Buonotomato: that's a promise

Potato: you don't have to worry about that holy fuck I love him so much

Buonotomato: you'd better

Potato: okay I have to go make a cake gtg

/Potato has disconnected./

THEAWESOME: Woah he's honestly so happy holy shit he's never this happy  
THEAWESOME: wtf

Maplegod: Relationship goals

Truthbringer: Honestly if you searched up adorable relationship definition you'd get GerIta.

Thesilentone: petition to change the dictionary definition of adorable relationship to GerIta.

Baguette: I don't think there's a definition for adorable relationship in the dictionary but let's put one in and the only definition is GerIta

Thesilentone: Yes.


	15. More HongIce, Prussia being a idiot, GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS.

Hong Kong: yo @Magicgod why tf does Icey have a whole bag of licorice on his headboard wtf

Magicgod: I don't fucking know, ask him

Hong Kong: can't he's asleep

Magicgod: why are you with him while he's asleep?

Hong Kong: sleepover

China: HK you'd better not be sleeping with Iceland.

Hong Kong: IM NOT

Fryingpan: that sounds like something someone sleeping with Iceland would say...

Baguette: hon hon hon

Hong Kong: France I stg

China: how would he know...?

Baguette: I know about every relationship everyone has

China: HONG KONG HAVE YOI HAD SEX WITH ICELAND

Hong Kong: no  
Hong Kong: plz I swear

Magicgod: @Volcanogod  
Magicgod: @Volcanogod  
Magicgod: @Volcanogod  
Magicgod: @Volcanogod  
Magicgod: @Volcanogod  
Magicgod: @Volcanogod

Volcanogod: wHAT FOR FUCKS SAKE?

Magicgod: did you have sex with HK?

Volcanogod: wtf that's random

Magicgod: tell me

Volcanogod: no piss off

Magicgod: little brother

Volcanogod: I didn't.

Magicgod: I can tell that's a lie

Volcanogod: it's really not

Magicgod: I can tell  
Magicgod: don't lie to your big brother

China: wait so did they?

Magicgod: ja

China: HONG KONG!

Thesilentone: HONGICE

Fryingpan: OTP

Belgianwaffle: H O N G I C E

Lili: nice thats my otp

Thesilentone: Hungary you know you can only have one OTP?

Fryingpan: fuck you I'll have as many otps as I like  
Fryingpan: bitch

Hong Kong: Am I in trouble?

China: YES.

Hong Kong: You're such a hypocrite don't act like I didn't hear you last Saturday with Russia

Thesilentone: omg RoChu too?

China: HONG KONG

Vodkagod: lmfao

Pasta: why am I waking up to this this isn't what I want to wake up to

Hong Kong: great you guys broke Icey

/Hong Kong uploaded icelandisbigembarass.jpeg/

Coolestgod: omfg he looks so embarrassed guys look what you did 

Buonotomato: I CANT FUCKING SEE THE PHOTO FFS

Belgianwaffle: it's just Iceland hugging a pillow with his face buried in it, blushing and looking embarrassed.

Buonotomato: Ty Belgium you're awesome

Belgianwaffle: np

China: I DONT CARE HONG KONG YOURE IN SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE HAGGDJTAIWFJDYDOSBXBLF

Baguette: he's in fucking trouble???

Pasta: I mean sure that technically makes sense

China: omfg these people I'm so DONE

Hong Kong: Norway what's your perspective on all this

Magicgod: mine?  
Magicgod: if I told him he couldn't have sex I'd be a hypocrite like China  
Magicgod: besides he's old enough  
Magicgod: but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit upset about it

Volcanogod: oh mY GOD NOR STFU PLEASE

Magicgod: no  
Magicgod: unless you do one thing

Volcanogod: i already know where this is going

Magicgod: okay then call me big brother

Volcanogod: not happening

Magicgod: big brother.

Volcanogod: I don't know you.

Magicgod: big sister.

Volcanogod: you aren't making any sense.

/Coolestgod uploaded Alwayswithyou.mp3/

Volcanogod: not even what I was going for but sure

Magicgod: same but whatever

THEAWESOME: man I love being woken up in THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT BECAUSE OF A BAG OF LICORICE AND HONGICE

China: oh yeah that's what we were talking about before we got off topic

Volcanogod: I really like licorice okay  
Volcanogod: now everyone go back to sleep okay?

China: okay fine HK you're still in trouble

Magicgod: k night

Pasta: Buona notte.

Baguette: Bonne nuit.

Vodkagod: Доброй ночи.

Thesilentone: おやすみなさい。

China: k Everyone stfu it's sleep time now

.  
..  
...  
....

THEAWESOME: /Silent  
THEAWESOME: /Uploadautoplay T  
THEAWESOME: /Uploadautoplay volume 100

/THEAWESOME uploaded MEINGOTT.mp3/

|SYSTEM| Playing MEINGOTT.mp3.

China: oH MY FUCKING GOD PRUSSIA

Volcanogod: WERE TRYING TO SLEEP YOU BITCH

Pasta: holy shit Germany I'm gonna kill your brother

Maplegod: you HAVE MY PERMISSION ITALY KILL THE BITCH FFS PRUSSIA I LOVE YOU BUT YOURE A FUCKING IDIOT

 

Vodkagod: how tf do I turn this off

THEAWESOME: lmfao

Potato: ...  
Potato: I'm coming to punch you.

THEAWESOME: WAIT NO WEST 

Maplegod: punch him twice for me plz 

Pasta: one more time for me

Baguette: once for me svp

Poland: just slap the bitch for me 

Lithuania: slap him for me too.

Vodkagod: yeah punch him for me too

Potato: okay I'm not beating him up for you guys you're gonna have to do it yourself if you want to hit him that much  
Potato: also I won't let you hit him so gl fuckers

THEAWESOME: OW FUCK HE ACTUALLY HIT ME

/Hong Kong uploaded Hoisamnicetown.mp3/

|SYSTEM| Playing Hoisamnicetown.mp3.

Hong Kong: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT FUCKER  
Hong Kong: FUCKING BITCH LET US SLEEP

Volcanogod: this song is actually good tho

Pasta: IM ACTUALLY GONNA FUCKING KILL SOMEONE GERMANY SAVE ME

Potato: Please don't.

Baguette: okay.  
Baguette: let's put on a nice, quiet song that we can all sleep to.

/Pasta uploaded Letsboilhotwater!.mp3/

|SYSTEM| Playing Letsboilhotwater.mp3.

Pasta: does this work?

Potato: Yes. This stays on. I'm vetoing this.

//Tomatoboi dances.//

Eyebrows: I second that.

China: as the oldest here, I agree with Germany so it's staying on.

Magicgod: /Playlistcreate GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS

|SYSTEM| Playlist GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS created.

Magicgod: /Playlistadd Letsboilhotwater.mp3, Danceoftheelves.mp3,, GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS

|SYSTEM| Letsboilhotwater.mp3 and Danceoftheelves.mp3 added to playlist GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS.

Magicgod: anything to add?

Quietgod: /Playlistadd HFPSweden.mp3,, GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS.

|SYSTEM| HFPSweden.mp3 added to playlist GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS.

Quietgod: there.

Coolestgod: it's perfect now.

Magicgod: /Play GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS

|SYSTEM| Playing GO TO SLEEP FUCKERS.

Magicgod: perfect.  
Magicgod: nOW GO TO SLEEP FFS


End file.
